Monkeys Fist

“Chop his fucking hands off”

I actually feel a bit sorry for the no-socks skinny jeans chin-minged little irrelevance. Imagine growing up in Middlesbrough, spending your whole life thinking “ get me out of this shithole”, you get to 18 and think- “ University! Get in! I’m free!”… but then being so dense you end up doing Business Studies. In Hull.

He probably isn’t feeling it right now, but he’s lucky it was the drunken hippy that outed him, and not the angry bogtrotter.

Piss be upon them.

Eh? Doesn't look like a journalist.

Jesus won’t help him, we’re all Muslim now.

Especially one that’s based in Regent Centre in…. Newcastle! Full House!

Well, I Am Sold. Which is in no way a reference to the Estate Agents of the same name. Pure coincidence.

Aye fair enough, but first, would you?

Fucking Hell. Callum, @Warlord, whatever, ring 111 mate.

This isn’t a forehead, it’s a Fivehead.

Funnily enough, most of his social media sites have gone “private”. He’s quick, but not quick enough Gone for a more mature, “hope the cat doesn’t lick it off” look here.

@Warlord, so Callum, what exactly does a “Client Onboarding Manager” do, other than troll football message boards like a fucking schoolboy? If you aren’t keen on answering, I’ll can always ask your employers?

Tell you what mind Tom, he’s got a lovely shirt!

Mint!

All done whilst opening a fresh can.

1. We didn’t “want our club to be owned by the Saudi Royal family”. They’re buying us. Big difference. 2. “Great example for young kids growing as fans, researching the roots of their club…” Could be worse, we could’ve allowed Adam Johnson to carry on playing for us whilst fully aware of the crimes he was accused of, imagine… 3. Here’s another massive cock so you don’t get lonely.

Chomp down while it’s still mooing. The best way

Me and the boy on our way to our first match under our new Evil Overlords.

T-bone steak. Cooked blue?

BAU lolz!

Blue pop works wonders.

Could be worse, we could’ve sang in support of a convicted paedophile, eh?