Monkeys Fist

Ghost of Tsushima is mint- if you enjoy the Assassins Creed games, it’s those but in feudal Japan. For a game that’s based around slaughtering the fuck out of the Mongol invaders, it’s a remarkably calming and serene experience. Looks great too- here’s some pics what I did tooken.

Drive like a buzzed-up Chav, crash in to cunts, score goals, shit talk opponents. Sorted 😉

How did you get my gamer tag?

There’s definitely dried protein in there.

I love how Gandaft’s grand announcements are all so non-specific. “Two Cotswold Farmers”- no names, no specifics. Look at the pic he’s posted- he’s just shat in a bag and printed some labels off- even the barcode is covered , no specifics Also, it’s in a gold bag, therefore “luxury”.

Fuck off.

Just in case anyone gets desperate and feels like watching The Haunting of Bly Manor, before you do, click here, buy it, and put your balls through it. It’ll be way more enjoyable.

Fake Trump- no nappy on.

He’ll still score more than Joelinton.

Aye, aye, but you do realise I’ve spent today an hour out of synch because you didn’t tell us all to put out clocks back. I trust you feel suitably shite about it.

It’s kind of ironic that the unelected house, which people ( myself included) have been trying to abolish for years, turns out to be the voice of reason in these fucked up times.

I love your optimism.

Such a simple fkin q lmao u mug tr2. Leave my wallop oot iv it. 2 fikin stupid 2 ansa lmfa u mug.

Yiz playin pool n yiz snookad, can yiz play the jump shot? ( hitting cue baal awwa anuntha baal te hit ya cullad baal)? Yes ah nah?

Who’s “Ay-air-ton Senna” then?

Isn’t this “Photos from the North East”, as opposed to “Photos from North Yorkshire” ?

Cracking “sheds”.

What the fuck were they for? I remember seeing them about, but never figured out their purpose. Were they cabins for replacement drivers to sit in and build up their stroppiness?

I refer the honourable gentleman to the post above his own.

I couldn’t afford a private number plate so I changed my name to NA04 MLH. I had to buy earplugs to drown out the sound of knickers hitting the floor when I drive by in my Lada.

FYP.

Aldi ABBA!

The strange thing is that most in countries it took a while for the virus to get started, then went mad, whereas in China it went straight off the bat. I’ll get me coat.