Monkeys Fist

That’s the first time I’ve made it more than 10 seconds in to that. “ My friend is bombed by the way”.

If this is how you mangle the language in Ireland, you can tear up the adoption papers.

What odds that he’s shagged Clive’s daughter?

What Sam Matteryou? Hey? Why you looka so sad? Hey? etc etc

I’ll bring the agricultural shit-sprayer.

I didn’t need to know that Gove dresses to the right either, thanks.

You don’t say.

A week on Friday, then?

I’ve not looked beyond the google search page- how does a furniture seller traffic children, without or without the help of Woody?

Best get the diggers out and demolish 99% of The Quayside then.

What’s your excuse?

Not to mention that the elderly and senile are a large part of their votes.

Will you be my Dad please?

Given the state of the world, none of this should surprise me, but…

So, Tom Hanks is involved in child trafficking through an online furniture seller? @wolfy!

Correct.

Why is the duck shitting chains?

At what point is the Queen allowed to ride in to parliament on a corgi and send them all to the Tower? (And if you think that’s ridiculous, you haven’t been paying attention)

He looks like Robert Rinder’s Regional News Reader Dad.

Did your mam switch off the internet before you finished typing?