Monkeys Fist

Mick Badger “ You had the scran at that place near Rydal?” Fred Badger “ Aye mate- usual over-priced ‘artisan’ shite… couple of tarted-up carrots and they want you to put on a show for their punters. Fuck that noise” Mick Badger “ Thank fuck, I thought I was being a bit, well, grumpy. Got any plans for winter?” Fred Badger “ Nah, gonna eat like a taxi driver all autumn then kip until April- same old same old mate.” Mick Badger “ Still a Toon fan?” Fred Badger … *points at face

Let’s not get carried away here lads. He only gets half of the deposit, so it’s not £17 million, it’s only £8.5 million, for nowt. Chickenfeed, barely worth getting out of his scratcher.

What did you expect? This isn’t a dig at you Troops, but do you really expect them to come out and apologise?

Tynemouth-by-the Sea , thank you. It’s not for plebians.

@MeenzerIf you arranged an unofficial park run, through the exact same channels that park run previously operated, within all the ever-changing guidelines, could they stop you? I’m genuinely curious- what’s to stop it happening if, say, you staggered starts so that folk set off at a distance that they’d never catch the person ahead, nor be caught by the person behind? And if you did catch up with someone, just pass them ? I share your befuddlement tbh- if we can go in a supermarket with manky bastards, why can’t people run around a park?

I know you can fight, but it’s our wits that make us men.

I’ve been on the phone to Nicola S and she said, ” See thae wee cunt fae Whitley Bay, he can get tae fuck wae his greeting aboot aye thae cunts nae like him” I have no idea what she said, I’ve pm’d KCG but all he said was “ They may take away our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!”

Aye, Mind, if you carry on using the term “staycation” you’re on my list of “will be eaten to death by seagulls”. We all have to pull together here, but stop it

We went to Seahouses at midday, fucking rammed. We fucked off towards Bamburgh, went to the beach south of the village. I’ve never seen so many people on Bamburgh beach tbh, but everyone was keeping their distance. However, the combination of the powder-fine sand and the fuck-you wind meant we were getting gently shotblasted the entire time. As I said to Mrs. Fist, every cunt and their brother who’d normally be English breakfasting in Malaga is now stinking up the places we superior fuckers have known and loved here in Perfidious Albion

The Knight Ryder has been spotted at the Mauritania tonight, bladdered, arguing with the bouncers that he can’t wear a mask because his loyal puntaz won’t realise they’re in the presence of an award winning journo. I expect a “5 reasons the takeover failed” piece to be phoned in tomorrow.

Whilst they’re having babies in the warehouse bogs.

She can take all six at once, too. Not bad for a 12yr old.

So Timmy, At what point did you realise that your owner was a total fucking charlatan? Was it; 1- When he asked you to fix the pink seats in return for a microwaved burger and pint of cooking lager? 2- When he closed half the “stadium” because he couldn’t afford the leccy bill? 3- When he failed to get you promoted out of League 1 at the first time of asking? 4- When he took out a loan of £10 million to “fix a lift”, which you didn’t need anyway (see 2 above). 5- When his mate Charlie called you all a bunch of cunts? 6- When he failed to get you promoted out of League One at the second time of asking? 7- When it came out that he’d used the club’s own parachute payments to buy you, because he’s only worth £8 million 8- When you stepped outside during the opening night of Sunderland Til I Die season 2 and heard the entire country pissing themselves laughing at the sub-Office style comedy? 9- When it looks like he’s going to peddle you to a bloke with an imaginary drinks company, making himself £30 million? Take your time, your lass/sister/Mam won’t be back home until she’s serviced her last punter outside the Metro.

I was talking to my mate’s son from Accrington and he said ” Sunderland , who are they?”

Oh, I’m sure they will… and then the inevitable fan-owned AFC sunderland will also go bust after signing Adam Johnson in the FTM Ex-Nissan Workers Amateur Racists League.

MLF’d your post.

This reply

Obama is absolutely murdering Trump in his eulogy at John Lewis’ funeral. Both Bush and Clinton spoke, Trump didn’t bother attending.

There’s talk of a US bid, which, if it happens, all well and good- anyone but fucking Ashley. I guarantee though, there won’t be a single question raised , anywhere, about the abysmal domestic and international human rights abuses carried out by the US. Also, fuck the Spuds, and double fuck the Wallpushers.

I’d laugh but I’m just not In the Mood.

Classic Mackem - corrects his post for spelling, spells “error” wrong in the edit. Off you fuck, you sad little League 1 freak, off you fuck.

This is the least surprising thing in a 17-week shitstorm. I’d have been amazed if he hadn’t tried some Del Boy shite.

“High Level Source”