Monkeys Fist

Sounds like a nice ketchup.

Drove past this hair salon in Sunniside earlier, I wonder if they realise

Better with a Norwegian Blue tbh.

#heronfoods. You missed one

So they told you- pizza smegiano

That’s Kamagra for you…

How can pizzas cook in a vacuum? I’ve never seen it with my own eyes.

Pizza was invented in a clinic in Wuhan. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

Who knew Quiff was Bearded Billy Storey?

As if essembee was there.

Put it on, sparingly and cut very thinly, straight after it comes out of the oven. Amazing.

1. In mah belly. 2. D’oh.

Steady on-That’s like saying you can’t prefer Lamb to Beef. A well made doorstep of bubbling and “just starting to brown” cheese on toast, with a splash Lea and Perrins, is a thing of beauty, as is a good pizza.

Those green beans have shrunk a bit.

Mackem walks in to a sandwich shop and asks for a bacon butty. Server says “ You want that in a roll?” Mackem - “ In bread” Server …

It’s a typo, he means “Stella business” - getting wrecked with his pals at the shelter.

Well, that’s us told lads.

See my post here mate - I couldn’t agree more. Apparently this mutt we’re “going to see” belonged to an old fella who can no longer look after it. Terriers would be my first, and only, choice, if I had any real say in the matter

Fuck Right Off

Nice one mate. It’s easily in my top 5 favourite albums.

It’s also called fucking Coco. At least give me the minimal satisfaction of naming it Arsehole or Shithouse, or even just Zappa, but no, it’s a fucking Instagram influencer name. I am depressed.

We discussed owning a mutt ages ago, and I mean years ago, when I made it absolutely clear that, in the first instance, I didn’t want one, didn’t agree with it, etc etc, but if I had to “compromise”, then it had to be a small, short-haired one that didn’t fucking stink. The one we’re going to “see if we like” is a cocker/setter cross, long-haired and both breeds are known for having death breath. Champion.

I’ve just been fucking Shanghaied in to agreeing to “view” a fucking dog. I am not a happy bunny- I am fundamentally opposed to pets, and yet I know that within a month, I will be ultimately responsible for picking up the rancid shite of a fucking animal I don’t want in any shape or form. FML.

Aye, but I’ll bet he doesn’t give the lads 6 days off and unlimited free delivery of Spicy Nik Naks. Amatuerish tbh, let’s not forget Brucey has been in football for a long time and seen it all.

Not wanting to spoil anyone’s day, but do your best not to imagine Denise and Steve getting down and dirty on a bed of Monster Munch and depression. 👍