Monkeys Fist

It’s because the infection rate is Dublin. I thangew.

My lad asked if chickens like music… “ Yes son, they like Classical music” ” Really Dad, who’s their favourite composer?” ” Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach”

I rang the tinnitus helpline last night but they were no help, they didn’t even answer- it just kept ringing.

Life left him at least 30 years ago, the zombie looking fucker.

There’s no need to feel down.

I went out this afternoon for a couple of beers with a mate- we went to the Free Trade, where you had to wait to be seated by a staff member, who to took contact details, and then it was table service. They’d made changes inside the bar, mainly to do with the toilet arrangements, ( only 1 person in the bogs at a time), and I felt 100% that they did everything possible to negate the risk of catching/ spreading the Lurgy. Because we were sat outside, we left after it became Baltic, and went to Brinkburn taproom. No sign- in, no measures other than “wear a mask when you go for a piss”, all indoors. We didn’t stay.

Ritson and his Dad/trainer live about 300 yards from my previous house. Nice family.

Man?

I don’t really get why the Torygraph continue with him- he obviously hates us, so let him write about his beloved Leyton Orient and give the NE job to someone who wants it.

Manure’s 12th man is in our dugout too.

“ Can we play them every week…” ( I hope ).

This week or last week?

What week time is kick off?

Carl- “ Look pet, there’s a furry blowjob stool on sale at Aldi!” Mrs. Carl- “ Oh, nice,I’m just about to go to Aldi’s now “ Carl - “ “ Later… Mrs. Carl- “ Hi pet, I’m home. I got you something!” Carl- * pants off, sexy time! Mrs. Carl - “ Look, some beetroot crisps!” Carl-

And from the same household…

Thanks @VaaniM, where should I send my bank details?

Everything has a point

That was Venom- South Shields’ finest purveyors of Black Metal. edit; found it. Tbf, it sounds like a pack of cunts acting the cunt to a cunt.

Apt that our two wankers-in-chief are called Johnson and Cummings then.

This is the kind of negative karma that blocks my chakras with unhappy Chi. Luckily, I have a Himalayan Pink Salt crystal rammed deep in my fundament, and it’s holistically cleansing my prana energy centres of toxins. Where’s my Pinot Grigio?

She should’ve been charged with manslaughter, the fucking dumb twat. Mind, that was probably the best outcome for the kid- imagine being brought up by a fruit-loop like that. ( please say she hasn’t got any other kids?).

Poor kids