Monkeys Fist

I love your optimism.

Such a simple fkin q lmao u mug tr2. Leave my wallop oot iv it. 2 fikin stupid 2 ansa lmfa u mug.

Yiz playin pool n yiz snookad, can yiz play the jump shot? ( hitting cue baal awwa anuntha baal te hit ya cullad baal)? Yes ah nah?

Who’s “Ay-air-ton Senna” then?

Isn’t this “Photos from the North East”, as opposed to “Photos from North Yorkshire” ?

Cracking “sheds”.

What the fuck were they for? I remember seeing them about, but never figured out their purpose. Were they cabins for replacement drivers to sit in and build up their stroppiness?

I refer the honourable gentleman to the post above his own.

I couldn’t afford a private number plate so I changed my name to NA04 MLH. I had to buy earplugs to drown out the sound of knickers hitting the floor when I drive by in my Lada.

FYP.

Aldi ABBA!

The strange thing is that most in countries it took a while for the virus to get started, then went mad, whereas in China it went straight off the bat. I’ll get me coat.

It was a post which was a misguided attempt at humour, I think, that used terms related to George Floyd and the Black Lives Matter campaign, Noelie probably thought there was nowt wrong with it, but I think it was more a generational thing than him being racist. He had a bit flounce though.

This one.

Renton’s found a pub open in the Lakes, then

Just had a look at the post in question- fucking hell! Fruity.

Anyone describing the food at ‘Spoons as substantial has either never been or is in the pocket of the Twat that owns it. I’d imagine Johnson is both.

A penguin is driving to work when it’s car starts making odd noises, so Penguin drops it off at the mechanics and says it’ll be back after work to find out what’s wrong. A few hours later, Penguin waddles up to the mechanic and says, “ So, what was the trouble?” Mechanic replies, “ I think you’ve blown a seal” Penguin turns bright red and starts wiping its face.

Re-FYP.

At my lassies High school they’re asking each year group to do 2 days learning from home, due to the number of staff absences-These are 4 confirmed COVID infections, a number of self isolations and some having to stay home for childcare. Just shut the fucking schools ffs.

Y

I walked in on the Mrs. banging her personal trainer last night. I said “ I’m leaving, this just isn’t working out”

His version of Gertcha by popular Cockernee Beat combo Chas and Dave is one for the ages.

For @Meenzer, here’s former Basil Brush sideman Roy North doing his interpretation of Tenpole Tudor’s masterpiece. Mint.