Monkeys Fist

Must’ve been tough as a kid to realise one of your local heroes married a munter.

Did blit lead to blart or was it the other way round? The mysteries of minge slang etymology…

The pun potential for this minge-shaped monstrosity is huge. “They got battered” ” It’s wide open, Jeff” ” It’s very tight at the moment, we need a shot to open things up” ”It looks like giant piss flaps, Alan”

The Reynolds in Darlo- magnificent. The Ghazi in Kabul- really popular, people were dying to get in. Grounsell Park- class

So does Chris Waddle.

You can tell us when you’re next home.

Play them Watermelon Man, they’ll go fucking bonkers.

I like to drive around late-night Paris in 1960, smoking tabs, in an open top MG with a guitar case strapped on the boot, as I listen to this Whilst rattling Charlotte Rampling, probably.

When did John Terry play for the Spartans

Aye, the suck-slut doesn’t specify whether they’re sword or sheath, do they. 🤔

Where is it you live again, Trophyshy?

Even money on J.M.Hendrix.

Fingers like pig’s tits. I feel your pain, brother

Hendrix was your Dad? This getting taller by the minute

Did Hortensia Fiennes-Rattlebacke tell you this at the last coffee morning of the Cotswold NIMBY Association ?

Good god, can you imagine what the little bitch would be like on coke.

Double Pfizer, with a free shot of Rich Energy Tramp’s Piss for those who currently have the virus and have subsequently lost their taste. ( aye, both shots were Pfizer).

I was chatting with an old mate from my snowboarding days today, we were talking about the albums that soundtracked our seasons, and this track was on one of them. Haven’t heard it in ages, but it holds up well for 1993 jazz-rap fusion

He works for the fucking Torygraph, they’re probably feeding him his lines.

Laters, lol!

I’ve got a lovely wife and two kids, haven’t died yet, and in my youth shagged most of Europe ( and Joe Brown’s daughter @PaddockLad). Canny successful in my book. #dirtybusiness #heronfoods #bige #whyamireplyingtothisdullard

Aye, I had my second jab (Pfizer) this afternoon too. I’m away out to lick the neighbours.

Lovely family

@Howmanheyman, this bloke is definitely in the second category of work wankers- he thinks he’s a gaffer ( aye, one of them). The first time I spoke to him, he’d pointed out some minor discrepancy in what I was wearing ( hadn’t yet been issued company gear), and told me I couldn’t wear toecappers to drive. My first words to him were, Me-” Are you one of the gaffers?” BS- “ No, but I’ve been here a few years” Me- “Right…fuck off then” Turned out even that was shite as he’d been there 6 months