Monkeys Fist

Apparently some texts from Methven have leaked, where he berates their fans as “toxic” who hate everyone- owners managers and players, and calls them “lobotomised monkeys”. Mint

They are truly the gift that keeps on giving.

Has Hippoheed ruled himself out yet?

Next match is at home to… … Burton Albion.

I’m sure he’ll get a decent payoff, he had his contract checked by his London lawyers.

Simple eh? Just pull a few thousand trained nurses and doctors out of the magic cupboard and job’s a good’un. John Redwood, never forget

I’m not saying the death of Lord Vader and the disappearance of the Utah monolith are linked, but they’re definitely linked. RIP Mr. Skywalker Snr.

Like clockwork.

edit; wtf? Big Daft Joe

“When you’ve had the best, the rest are…ehhm… y’kna…shite.”

FYP

Newcastle have now failed to score in the first half of 20 of their last 26 Premier League games.

Still frosty

I’m concerned about @wykikitoon, he’s not been about lately- I reckon that useless cow that just spends t’whole day on t’phone has finally sent him over the edge and he’s gone on a rampage at work, but since everyone’s wfh he’s been locked in there since the 5th and has been surviving on the moldy leftovers that “all these fucking manky bastards” left in the staff fridge.

Nice, but a better tribute would’ve been if they’d all worn Scouser wigs and had a dusting of “talc” on their top lips. Would’ve at least generated a modicum of interest in the proceedings.

He’s had to cut the right arm off all of his t-shirts.

#BLMM ( Bruce Loves Monster Munch). He’s definitely got Pickled Onion breath.

His hands look normal-sized on that table. Massive heed, but.

I’m going to watch a bag of frozen peas defrost.

Got to make use of the Union flag while they still can 😉

Ehlers Danlos syndrome, I’m guessing. Or Superhero.

Either your dentist had tiny hands or…