Monkeys Fist

There are many, many reasons I hope we win, but one of them is to hear that Scouse cunt Carragher drowning in his own, copious spit.

Well, that’s me set up for the match, and the aftermath. And yes, I will be in the nip.

Get yourself down to Thurrock.

Standing was an involuntary reaction to the Neptunes, tbh.

Him and Tooshuck and Highway tormented us.

Neave on the bench again. 17yr old striker. Bring him on when we’re 3-0 up.

Again with the puns, Gemmzi

Speaking of- Forgot about my shoulders setting off the ultra sensitive flush sensors at Thurrock. Treated to a constant flush and the resulting Neptune’s Kisses ( aye, fucking multiple!!) which, honestly, impacted on my enjoyment of a good clear out. I might write a very detailed letter of complaint to Moto UK.

No idea mate, never heard of him.

Sitting in my cab at Thurrock services, waiting for the Scania lad to come and fix a small problem ( due in 5 minutes), then off for a quick 3s’s and a bite to eat. Then; Match, celebrate, one-off the wrist, sleep, home.

That’s what you get for drinking locally- they’ll all be on RTG getting angry about imaginary shit.

Have a word with Gloomy, has the opposite problem.

Is that Ronnie Pickering?

Remember when you turned up to work in a ball gown and the gaffer said ” Go on then, give us a Twirl?” Happy days…

My lad asked me why boxers usually don’t have sex in the weeks leading to a fight. I said ” They usually don’t like each other mate “

I’ll be releasing the bomb bay doors soon There’s few finer feelings than an empty gut after carrying a blind trout around.

Decent piece on Howe from the BEEB here The quotes from the players shows just how much these lads respect him. Nice little mood setter for this afternoon.

So, more omens. Saturday night/Sunday morning on the A1 south means closures, always one, often two or three. Last night, not a single one. Clean run, barely any traffic. My first drop is 5 miles off the M25 at Dartford, traffic lights and roundabouts all the way. Both in to the depot and and back out to the M25, not a single red light, nor even having to give way to traffic on the roundabouts- never fucking happens. The lad driving the forklift was the spitting double of Thabo Mbeki, president of a country where the underdogs eventually won, aaaaaaand, because aye, that’s a stretch, he had a black and white striped scarf on. I’ve put all these through the online Omen Interpretation Calculator and the result was; CANS. It’s happening lads

It’s on ITV too- not sure who their blabber squad is, but it’s not fucking Spit the Dog.

It would be foolhardy of me to identify my employer on t’interwebs.… … but zoom in bottom right of the driver door. I’m sure you can guess

Aye- he’s a Manure fan, worse still, from Manchester.

If you’re serious about taking one for the team, your subject matter is clear. Try injecting some Bong first.

It’s a beautiful, if icy, morning down here in that there London. Having consulted my Book of Football Omens, this means that it’s the Iceman’s day, winning hat trick incoming. ( I just need to make sure I wake up in time for the match ).

Goes back to the 70s. Both teams were facing relegation. Both had their last game on the same night. Mackems just had to match Coventry’s result to stay up. Meant to KO at the same time. Because of an accident or something, traffic was bad in Coventry so Jimmy Hill delayed KO by 15 mins. Mackems lost their game 0-2. Coventry drew 2-2. Coventry stayed up, mackems went down and stayed down. So, because their own team weren’t good enough, the Morlocks hate Jimmy Hill

“ Only 50% bothered to turn up…” The fucking cheeky bastard!