Monkeys Fist

When I was a massive hippy I went to a gig in the Roman colosseum in Nimes and took in 30l of homemade sangria courtesy of one these bad boys… Wrapped in a towel inside a rucksack. Thanks to that and some superb Moroccan herbals I was absolutely wankered, tearing around the dungeons giving it Spartacus whilst the support bands were on.

I was going to say “ Welease Woger”, but …

Isn’t that why he’s unsure how many kids he has?

1966.

“ There’s this cunt at work… oh…shit” Welcome back knacker, where you looking to buy?

We’ll all be dead from Covid variant Mk23 by then though. Chin up Chuckles, we live to shite another day.

I’ll give you that- Kane was virtually invisible and given the options he had on the bench it was more than disappointing that he didn’t make a change when it could’ve mattered. Still, I’m pretty sure they’ll learn from this game, and onwards and upwards etc etc And now I’m off for yet another refreshment. Italy can’t be proud of that win, cheating cunts.

Just to put a bit of perspective on this, we got to the finals of a major tournament and only conceded 2 goals in open play- with the T-Rex in nets. We blew the pens, no question, but we can be rightly proud of this team and look forward to the World Cup with a realistic chance. Fuck the Italians, too, cheating cunts. For everyone ( other than Quiff obvs ) baying about Southgate- who do you think we could get to improve this team- I’m not saying he’s irreplaceable but I’m curious who you think would, firstly, take the job and, secondly, do better? I’m going to go and have (another) beer.

This bunch of lads have, in a few games, made me proud of country my way more than our shithouse politicians, ignorant population or anything else recently. It’s not the result we wanted, but they can be proud as fuck of their performance and behaviour throughout this tournament. Once they’ve got over the disappointment of this loss, they’ll look at the next tournament, a World Cup, and think “ We can have that”. I’d love to congratulate Italy, but I genuinely can’t celebrate their fucking shithouse style of cheating their way to victory - fuck them.

Did well to get away with a yellow.

3-1 England, Italy down to 10 men. Boom.

No chance Ryder has a lass 😉

My lad’s primary school have just sent an email saying kids can come in at 11am tomorrow. Head teacher is obviously getting mullered tonight

It must an absolute head-fuck knowing that you’ve, albeit inadvertently, passed it in to others, especially if, as you say, he’s an introverted lad. Aside from the physical aspects of having it, I hope he’s doing ok mentally.

It’s an historic shitshow, isn’t it?

If past behaviour is any indicator, this bunch of muppets will pull a last minute u-turn on lifting restrictions on the 19th- the number of experts saying it’s a terrible idea will get through, eventually, too late for many businesses to plan for, but the correct thing to do.

This post goes so well with a fried egg and peas it’s uncanny.

HEFCs are what you’re probably after @PaddockLad- Higher Education Foundation Course. They’re aimed at mature students looking to go on and study for degrees. It’s always good to get the neurons sparking again, go for it mate. 👍

Saint Gareth- “ Yeah, you like that, you long-necked bitch, right in the cloaca, hmm?” Goose- “ Honk”.

Both my kids have been isolating this week, the eldest missed out on birthday celebrations because of it. Her school have closed down her entire year group due to positive pupil cases and staff absences. Same with the youngest. It’s fucking rife, but let’s crack and get Covid done, eh Johnson? How the fuck did this bellend get anywhere near a position of power in the first place?

Someone is

Aye, usually by now one of the tabloid shitrags has “exposed” some mildly dodgy behaviour by a player, or made up some nonsense. This lot seem to be keeping their noses clean, but there’s still time for the Daily Hate to claim Southgate bummed his neighbours pet geese or whatever.

3…2…1…