Monkeys Fist

Edible Winkles. Bogging 🤮

My old man used to get excited over having a bag of willocks when we went to Seahouses. Minging

Aye, that’s the one. Still got the sweets, just added some excellent beer too. “ Just taking the kids to get some sweets Pet!” edit; Their Arsebook page… https://m.facebook.com/pages/category/Convenience-Store/McCartneys-sweet-shop-general-dealer-104664794300891/

St. Morrisey Park? Sounds a bit miserable.

Given his cup-size, that’s some achievement.

That was you? Judging by the taste of it, you’re pregnant mate. Do you know who the mother is?

You should’ve said, I live less than 100m from there. I’d have nipped out and licked your face Having a beer tomorrow then?

“ And, in this early meeting of the Dutch and Swiss in the Champions League, after some heavy probing and persistent pressure on their back line, they’ve finally crumbled and Jizz has been peppering Young Boys’ at will, shooting from every angle- what are your thoughts, Steve McClaren?l ” Schecksy!”

In tribute to Jizz Horncamp, I’m slurping on a lovely frothy Hoop… @Alex, bought this from the corner shop next to Amicis- he’s got a very tidy little beer shelf now, and is very keen to get more stuff in- worth a look if you like this kind of spangle.

“ And Jizz has just sprayed one wildly in to the crowd… looks like he’s hit a woman in the face, Jeff.… … dirty bitch”.

“Jizz dribbling in to the box” ” Jizz has been lacking today- seems to be struggling to finish”. That’s it- I’m out of jizz puns

A commentators dream. “ He’s had Jizz in his pocket today” ” The first half has seen Jizz all over the box” ” Oh no Jeff! The referee’s blown and now he’s got Jizz in his face.” etc

He was up against Scary Spice- he’d want shot with shite if he’d lost Also, he looks like Fat Phstevie, Twitter’s greatest Geordie.

“ Like Pringles with fingers”

Thanks for that

The legendary graffiti in the bogs is gone, btw - They updated the bogs during the 1st lockdown and it went. Fortunately, I snapped a pic of some of the sheer poetry on display, for posterity

Found this article about the pub. https://www.pelliclemag.com/home/2020/5/25/it-takes-a-bridge-inside-newcastles-legendary-free-trade-inn

TV??? Pfft, I’m watching an organic stream from a crowd-funded community blog based in a small village in Bhutan.

That’s our song for sexy time.

That face when your arse is stinging from just being shafted, but your T-Rex arms can’t scratch it.

My lass works in sunderland, and I set her ringtone to The Duelling Banjos from Deliverance whenever I ring her. I make a point of calling her everyday at work

Drinking pints in his attic with a woolly hat on, punching the fuck out of his Wilkinson’s desk. Prime Mackem.

Does that mean Trump wore a massive fat-suit for at least 5 years, ready to whip it off and don the Biden mask? The denpressure is getting to them.

Right next to the best boozer in Newcastle- The Free Trade.