Monkeys Fist

I’ve gone through my Wayne’s World quotes and I admit defeat.

Presumably they’ve got so many burst pipes etc because their homes aren’t built with cold weather in mind? So, no insulation, lagging etc?

W!

I’d settle for my Dad seeing my son in the pub whilst I’m growing up, or something. Anything but this purgatory.

Its not though- it’s a Pie in a Bun. Is this a bus? No, it’s a banana.… unless you live in Wigan where it’s probably called a fucking Long Orange or some shit.

That pie looks like it’s been deep fried. Which would be very Wigan. edit; they’ll also have some weird fucking name for the bun, like a barm or a cob or some shit. Freaks.

I’ve never met anyone from Wigan that wasn’t unhinged.

You reckon? *In the office after we go down. Ashley-“ Right then Penfold, we need a bloke with plenty of experience in the Championship, not too pricey, happy to bend over when told to…” Penfold… ( seriously though, he’s precisely the kind of cunt Ashley would look for to get us back up).

Bill Werbenuik was a fucking beast From his wiki page; ”Some of Werbeniuk's most famous feats of drinking include: 76 cans of lager during a game with John Spencer in Australia in the 1970s;89 pints of lager in a snooker match/drinking contest against Scotsman Eddie Sinclair in which, after Sinclair had passed out following his 42nd pint, Werbeniuk was reported to say "I'm away to the bar now for a proper drink";28 pints of lager and 16 whiskies over the course of 11 frames during a match against Nigel Bond, in January 1990 – after which Werbeniuk then consumed an entire bottle of Scotch to "drown his sorrows" after losing the match.”

Couple of questions; Who did he send them to? WHY?

Phil the Greek- “ Can’t be having these bloody arab royals stealing the headlines Lizzy, eh what?”

They’ve got to earn a crust somehow until the Real Madrid gig lands.

I only realised today that Dubai is ruled by Ringo bin Starr.

I don’t think you’d get much for him.

I’ve kept quiet on this for an awful long time, but I can no longer stand silent. We’ve all had to make sacrifices during this pandemic, but the Darras Hall community has been hit particularly hard - since the closure of pubs and restaurants many have no option but to employ private chefs, just to keep themselves alive. Steve is a dearly loved member of this community, and on top of the privations they’ve all faced, he has had to be driven to Benton every day ( except Mondays and Thursdays which are crisp delivery days when he has to stay home). All this, and he’s the lowest paid manager in the Premier League ( £83,000 per month- 3x average annual salary, bonus for avoiding relegation and supplement for every place above last three at end of season). As if this wasn’t bad enough, since he’s not on social media he must rely on his son to pass on his daily death threats, tactical ridicule, and calls for dismissal. Can we cut the guy some slack?

JLNTNYHDLY. Clue- He don’t need this pressure on.

Speaking of anal pustules, here’s Chris Sutton’s measured take on our recent form… ”You look at the recent performances of Newcastle, second half against Leeds they were unlucky not to get anything out of the game and against Everton they were superb and against Crystal Palace they had the better chances. The win against Southampton when they finished the game with nine men - Steve Bruce certainly hasn't lost the dressing room.” It’s not just the players who take the money but can’t be arsed.

Given my opening post in this thread, I’d say I’m more solid at the back than this shower.

I hope Steve Bruce and his dogs have a lovely walk tomorrow now that the snow has gone- he’s a lovely guy and loves his pets.

There’s the answer.