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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. There used to be a proper old-fashioned grocers , Wrights, on the Fish Quay that did the best bacon I’ve ever had. He’d cut it to order, and it was amazing. Like many of the property’s there, I think it’s a restaurant now. Other than Sambucas, I think the food there is pretty decent Tom, so your Uncle might like a lunch there.
  2. And so began the Great Toontastic Plagiarism Schism- a once (fairly) united board became split in to the Howmans vs The Paddockers. Friendships, families and eventually the board itself would be torn asunder over the Great Debate- who posted the pub meme first? (The fact that pubs didn’t open until December 2022 was lost in the intransigent posturing from both sides). *read it in Morgan Freeman’s voice, it sounds better.
  3. This makes for depressing, though unsurprising, reading. https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2021/feb/23/revealed-migrant-worker-deaths-qatar-fifa-world-cup-2022
  4. Not the best choice of words for this thread
  5. That’s because he’s a little shithouse. He’s the type who approaches you if you’re having a quiet pint and tries to demonstrate how clever he is, ignoring all the social signals you’re giving him to fuck off, then gets upset when you finally tell him to fuck off. Don’t take his bait.
  6. Now seems like a good time to remind everyone of how great a day out the Great Yorkshire Show is- for kids and adults alike!
  7. I heard that taking Omega 3 capsules in boiling water would act as a COVID vaccine, so I gave it a go- ended up with burns on my lips. Don’t worry though, they’re super fish oil.
  8. He’s stood in front of a mirror looking at himself. Bet he’s tugging it.
  9. Kind and gentle. If Darren Grimes walked in to a Monkey Brothel dressed as a banana he’d still walk out untouched.
  10. He’s the one that died the other day. 👍
  11. Aye. From my house to Cullercoats is 7.5 miles according to Google maps shortest route. We’ve been for a stroll along the beach and fish and chips above the bay once or twice this past year. Not a regular thing, but sometimes you need to reset the old happiness meter.
  12. Percy Pacemaker doesn’t have the same cachet, does it?
  13. It’d be awful if he was out of work and had to sign on. Fucking benefit scrounger…
  14. I had no idea what this was referencing, so looked it up- fucking hell! Pete Doherty got away with ( at the very least) accessory to murder , allegedly of course. The cctv of him stepping round the body then legging it is pretty damning- what a cunt.
  15. Nailed on Gemmill is getting a Pug, btw- genetically fucked and barely able to breathe.
  16. I’m also booked for my cripple jab next week
  17. From the lad about to do a Cummings to pick up another furry shit-machine, requiring constant feeding and poop retrieval, in return for it parking it’s hoop on your face to wake you up.
  18. Just filter the fuck out of them then claim they’re shopped if anyone griefs you.
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