Monkeys Fist

Tell you what though, there’s some good-looking coppers in the Met.… … sorry, my mistake, I meant some real Ladykillers.

Bury Walker, more like.

There’s a shock

Her again?

Quiff and Polarboy arguing whether a shit sandwich tastes better on Hovis or Warburtons.

Golden Wonder shares just jumped by 200 points.

There’s where you’re going wrong.

Lascelles as John McNamee, as in bacon roll?

Looks like he’s got the entire company’s supply in his pockets, too. edit; who’s the poor bloke holding his breath next to him?

It’s not on here in Singapore mate.

Who would you consider the best player is for West Ham? Bobby Moore What do you think West Hams strengths and weaknesses are? They work well in a team but can also work individually- they are highly motivated and willing to learn new skills. How do you think Newcastle will get on for the rest of this season? What player for Newcastle should opposing teams watch out for? Joelinton- some of your lads might mistake him for a footballer and waste their time marking him. Are you happy with the return of Andy Carroll? He brings balance to the squad as we had two empty seats on the left end of the bench but only one at the right end- no longer a problem. How gutted were you when the recent takeover fell through? 5.6 What has been Newcastles biggest struggle this season? Finding a reliable source of Beef Monster Munch for Bruce Does Steve Bruce deserve the criticism he receives from fans? He hasn’t got any fans. Do you think you will stay up this season? Not without Kamagra What are your score predictions for Newcastle v West Ham? Eleventy Ten

What other visitors have usually done is post the list of questions in the thread - once the piss-taking has died down you’ll generally get some decent responses, although I would guess that at present enthusiasm might be a tad weak, thanks to our beloved cabbage-headed manager and his world-beating tactical nous.

Lads… I’m going to cut out the middleman and just put myself on The List.

The Knight Ryder in an urban camo mask, of course, as befits a former foot-soldier. Also, this the voice of Steve Bruce bellowing to Emil Krafth echoed round Stamford Bridge: "Emil you're too narrow!" Terrible thing, jealousy.

Welcome to Newcastle- the friendly city.

A bit scatter-brained?

Because the gutless shithouse has the imagination of a slug, so it’s the same lines at every club.

Shelvey as Sharon Stone

So does Bernie, tbf.

Kiwied YP.

You lazy stoats!!!!

I’ve said previously, I wouldn’t hold your breath about him going if/when we go down. He’s exactly the type they’d look for if he wasn’t already our manager.

His bank balance is the only one I can think of.