Monkeys Fist

How do you pronounce Hobbes then? Does it rhyme with knobs, robes or jobbies?

Sorry lads, but that’s just the state of British policing. As it stands

Are you me?

Has Ramadan started already?

The investing officers returned to the station to find that their toilets had been taken in an opportunistic burglary. They hope to find the perpetrators but at the moment they have nothing to go on.

I just gave the Mrs. a butt plug and a tube of KY. “ Call it practice, pet”

Actual place in Coleraine, mate of mine grew up there. We called him Winnet once we found out.

Teatime…

Carry your bag sir? Nah, let her Wark!

A massive sinkhole has just appeared on the A1 at Gosforth. Police are looking in to it.

I made it absolutely clear that 2 was enough. One main character, one spare in case the first one breaks.

Never played Death Stranding- it’s it open world? I might pick it up as I’m after a new game. Tsushima is fantastic I reckon, I’m up to Act III now, just got to the far north of the islands and it’s time to get fucky with the Mongols. Mirage is… ok. It was originally going to be a dlc for Valhalla, which shows as its considerably smaller than previous games in the series. I like the return to proper assassin style play, but just found it hard to give a fuck about any of the main characters. Still, decent enough.

Names don’t really matter for 2nd children, as from about 18months onwards you’ll only ever refer to them as “YOU LITTLE BASTARD!!!” Good luck with the birth, and remember, you both wanted another kid,

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cv2yeejnxryo Tower block in Walker getting blown up! I might see if I can get to watch it- always fancied seeing a decent sized demolition.

Tune in at lunchtime

Carlton or Collingwood?

As you said, it’s the grift. Getting one over the plebs.

Donald von Schitzenpantz

My Grandad spoke Pitmatic, with the rolled R, used the full old fashioned vocabulary- Thee, Thou and Thow, He’d “gern ti the netty” , pit ponies were cuddies, his flat cap was a dutt, had his favourite gansey , sweets were kets, he’d collect sheep and rabbit “dottles” to put on his roses I’ve mentioned before that my old man had a tape of him talking to me and my brother when we were 5 and 3, we both clearly understood him and were prattling away in response to him quite happily on the tape, but listening to it years later he was almost unintelligible. I was gutted when my old man’s unhinged* wife “lost” the tape, as it was not only a lovely thing to have personally, but from a social history view it was a record of a dialect that’s now virtually disappeared. *the tales of her psycho behaviour are a whole other story

Aye, that’s how ah got the hornier.

Kangaroo stampede interrupts golfers… https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-australia-68501403 The bloke actually says “fair dinkum”

Berb went to the Doctor ” What seems to be the problem Mr. Rerbson?” Berb points at his groin and says “ The Mrs. says I’m getting hornier” Doctor chuckles and says ” Well, I don’t think that’s a problem, is it Berb?” Berb says ” Whey, how’ll ah lift me prize leeks on to the Sher Chebbles with me insides hinging oot?”

A hairdresser in Bomarsund put up a sign saying ” Braids- £20” Locals were outraged and said you could get a stottie and a sliced white for £3:50 at Greggs.