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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. Monkeys Fist
    Figured we might as well fill a new thread with hate Would I be correct in putting Keane at No.1 then? If we get a decent list of cunts, I’ll put a poll on and we can vote on it. Edit; managed to figure out the poll business, I’ll add anyone mentioned more than once to the arbitrary list of cunts I’ve started with. Edit 2: Pick 10 …. Fuck me, I’m ballsing this up like a proper cunt
  2. Monkeys Fist
    Tough one that, for me. He’s undoubtedly a fully paid-up member of the cunt club, but he was also party to some great moments in our history ( yes Feyenoord, I’m talking about when we possed you). He’d probably scrape in at 9 or 10, but I’m sure there’s 10 more cuntish PL players we could pick.… …Thomas Gravesen being next in my personal cunt list. ( His entire career was built on cuntishness, but his cunt tackle on Bernard, when we could’ve stormed up the league under Sir Bobby, guarantees his place directly under Keane for me.).
  3. Monkeys Fist
    You could have stopped there, tbh.
  4. Monkeys Fist
  5. Monkeys Fist
    I was genuinely torn between putting him at No. 2 or Wanks His Dags again, but Savage is such a cunt that even putting him in the top 10 of this paltry list would be giving him too much recognition.
  6. Monkeys Fist
    So, for the inaugural Toontastic Premier League Hall of Cunts, I’d like to open nominations for the prestigious first two places. My nominations are; 1.Roy Keane 2.Roy Keane.
  7. Monkeys Fist
    Let’s be honest, them not even getting to the play-offs would do that, and be way funnier.
  8. Monkeys Fist
    Do it yourself, you lazy shite. https://www.bookemon.com/create-book
  9. Monkeys Fist
    Anyone know any socially distanced parking spots around Wembley?
  10. Monkeys Fist
    Magnificent!
  11. Monkeys Fist
    The thing above her sister’s head is also a cosmetic surgery advert.
  12. Monkeys Fist
    Nice touch from French Terry.
  13. Monkeys Fist
    He’s determined to blow something, definitely. #jizzbeard #heronfoods #hotspermgargle
  14. Monkeys Fist
    #heronfoods #cotswoldcommies
  15. Monkeys Fist
    This doesn’t exactly fit with your “angry punk socialist” persona, now, does it?
  16. Monkeys Fist
    Allow me to jog your mammaries… Clearly NSFW, but can I fuck find the spoiler tags on mobile.
  17. Monkeys Fist
    If you’re bored, spend 5 minutes looking at his trail of failure on the Companies House site. The only non-dissolved business he’s actually a part of is Wolf Jerky, and he doesn’t actually own it- two brothers from Cheltenham do. He’s listed as “Sales Director”, with under a third of the company shares.
  18. Monkeys Fist
  19. Monkeys Fist
    You just know his Mam has “The Special Things” cupboard where he keeps his drawings of aliens, these two prop cans, the world’s only actaul packet of Wolf Jerky, and the dried remains of his parasitic twin. He’s allowed to play with The Things once a week, which is when his tweet flurrys come out. #notapsycho #heronfoods #EdwardandTubbs
  20. Monkeys Fist
    Makes you wonder what’s in the Wolf Jerky. #basementlife #winnitthair #heronfoods #actualshite
  21. Monkeys Fist
    Shame he didn’t wipe the coffee-mug rings off his Mam’s kitchen bench before he took it, though. #bullspiss #manky #standsoutsideshops #heronfoods
  22. Monkeys Fist
    You sure it wasn’t @Kevin Carr's Gloves?
  23. Monkeys Fist
    #ukbusiness #lampshades #livewithmymam #heronfoods #breathlikeatrampsarse
  24. Monkeys Fist
    Not been in there in ages, not sampled their meat-wrapped ova, but the Cumby’s would convert vegans back to the delights of flesh.
  25. Monkeys Fist
    No, multitudes means a lot.
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