Monkeys Fist

Dweezil… best shot I could get. Fucker is 100mph

Aye, and death breath, psycho problems and fucked up joints. Which is a good part of why I didn’t want one.

Next Friday?

It’s 6 months old, Grandparents of a colleague had it but one of them broke a hip so they can’t look after it properly. She’s played all her guilt-cards in a Royal Flush, crafty shithouse

Bog Brush Terrier?

It’s costing her a PS5, amongst other unspeakables.

As if my day couldn’t get any worse, Mrs.F has “asked if it’s alright” that she’s bringing a puppy home- in previous discussions about us having a shit machine, the one and only breed I specifically said I didn’t want under any circumstances was a Cocker Spaniel. Guess what breed this little Mackem fucker is? #cans

Oh, did you post on NO?

Ffs. Both Miss Fistlet and Knacker Fist have had positive tests, so have to self isolate. Which likely means Mrs.F and I will catch the fucking thing. Arsebiscuits.

Top trolling

Unlike the other Hairy Danger’s “preemeeyum energy drink”, Carabao is readily available at Morrison’s and Asda, so I’m told- I don’t shop in such peasant outlets #heronfoods #paedodrink #lidlforlife

It’s currently the Carabao Cup, sponsored by “ Thailand’s second most popular energy drink” ( I shit thee not) Here’s the chairman.

Bestiality then?

Just couldn’t get him over the line. Announcement due next Friday.

If they do, Chelsea should offer to play 3-shots-and-in and let them play rush goalie.

We don’t talk about Steve Bruce and homing people- it makes his son cry.

The homeless problem for pigeons is one of the great tragedies of this millennium. Glad to see someone addressing it.

50% of them having managed us. Ffs.

FYP

Had a go at flower arranging too… Get fucked

Felt a bit zany earlier so I dipped my balls in glitter. Pretty nuts, eh, what?

Here you go. Plant them in February and thin them out once they get to three storeys, otherwise you’ll have the planning dept. on your back.

Nows the time to be deadheading your concrete plants if you want a healthy crop next building season. I grew this last year