Monkeys Fist

I’ve got a lovely wife and two kids, haven’t died yet, and in my youth shagged most of Europe ( and Joe Brown’s daughter @PaddockLad). Canny successful in my book. #dirtybusiness #heronfoods #bige #whyamireplyingtothisdullard

Aye, I had my second jab (Pfizer) this afternoon too. I’m away out to lick the neighbours.

Lovely family

@Howmanheyman, this bloke is definitely in the second category of work wankers- he thinks he’s a gaffer ( aye, one of them). The first time I spoke to him, he’d pointed out some minor discrepancy in what I was wearing ( hadn’t yet been issued company gear), and told me I couldn’t wear toecappers to drive. My first words to him were, Me-” Are you one of the gaffers?” BS- “ No, but I’ve been here a few years” Me- “Right…fuck off then” Turned out even that was shite as he’d been there 6 months

Your dad was getting out of a taxi in the late 1960s??? Sounds like a tall tale

It was so fucking ridiculous - I knew ( without Google) that Hendrix had never played the Mayfair, (partly down to previous Williams claiming to have seen him there) and also since this bloke was clearly not old enough. I already had “full of shite” vibes about the bloke, but this was just confirmation. I didn’t call him out as I want to see what other shite he comes out with. ( Claimed to have seen Pink Floyd in the same conversation, but I didn’t ask him for details on that- totally possible he has seen them, but if, as I suspect, he’s claiming Syd Barrett Floyd he can fuck off twice. ) Hendrix and Floyd played on the same tour in 1967, appearing at the City Hall… when he was 9.

Bloke at work was telling us he’d seen Jimi Hendrix play at the Mayfair. Hendrix never played the Mayfair, he played The Go-Go and City Hall in 1967. Maybe he got the venue mixed up, you say? I asked him how old he is, he’s 62, so he’d have been 9yrs old in 1967. He totally failed to realise I’d just called him out, and went on to describe how he’d been blown away when he played Voodoo Chile. Voodoo Chile was recorded in 1968, a year after Hendrix last appearance in Newcastle. Whopper

He’s getting flayed in the replies, more over the “managers are judged on results.” line tbh. What a fucking weasel

Fair

Which people said that about Parker, or is he pulling straw men out of his hoop again?

Did we ever find out what his response to “Who Let The Dogs Out” was going to be? (Given his fucking beige approach to everything, it’ll have been something unutterably dull by Phil Collins or Whitney Houston.)

There’s part of the problem though, I’m not. There’s fucking millions, just like me, bored fucking rigid with the endless fuckery, thinking “ Just stop being cunts- run the fucking country without screwing it up”

Fitting that he’s paying for Brazzers with plastic. #footballtitties #bige #wood

You wrote them, didn’t you?

The big giveaway that it’s not his video is that there’s 7 glasses. #billynomates

Which category am I then?

So, Angela Rayner, or Gemmill’s spankbanker, Nandy?

Look everyone, he’s in Morocco. (he isn’t )

“Even a boiled egg can look at a beech tree” #deepasafryingpan #bige #heronfoods #themethsiskickingin

Defended by a QC paid for by The Sun. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Kay_(journalist,_born_1943)

Imagine paying for grot.

Bruce in. Bruce out. Bruce “that’s never happened before”.

I feel sorry for Mrs. Bruce tonight. Pickled Onion Monster Munch breath right up her HooHa.

FYP

It draws attention away from the badly photoshopped can of tramps piss.