Monkeys Fist

Like punching a bowl of livers.

I thought His Royal Heinous said there were no witnesses at Pizza Express?

To the axe wound?

MLF’d YP

I’m taking Fist Jnr. to see Spidrman; Too Far From Homecoming To Come Home, I’ll let you know if it’s anything other than the standard formulaic cack. Going to the Everyman though, so I can at least have a beer whilst enduring it.

Get suited up, visit your Dad, but refuse to say anything but “I am the one who coughs!” to anyone. Then go home and cook some blue meth. 👍

Aye. It’s mint being the panto villain, though.

That’s a bit coarse.

Makes you wonder why you decided to be a doctor … … oh.

Would definitely end up with a hung jury.

I wonder what put them off? Do you think it was the Fascist managers, or just the run-of-the-mill paedos and racists?

He’s always got his shares in KFC and Blossom Hill to fall back on.

And he’d have got away with it, if it wasn’t for the fucking kids…

Neyone.

Look after yourself Renton mate- whatever transpires over the next few days,( i.e. you having to self-isolate), you know you’ve done everything within your power to help your Dad, so try not to beat yourself up too much over things you can’t control.

Tried setting up a racing pigeon breeding business but I ran in to some problems- Me- “ All the pigeons you’ve sold me die after their first time breeding…” Pigeon Bloke- “ I’ve never heard of that before, normally breeding birds are good for 3-4 years” Me- “ Well, you’ve heard it now- some of them are dead before I even hit my vinegars!” Coo.

What organ stays warm in a woman’s body after her death? Mine. Giddup!

Profs Sir Chris Whitty and Sir Jonathan Van-Tam have both been knighted in the New Year Honours List. Also…

So, it being 2022 and that, I thought I’d have a reset and stop posting offensive shite and what have you.… I mean, say what you want about deaf people.… HAPPY NEW YEAR!

That’s a fantastic story tbh, but the real story here is how the fuck you found this thread from 2011, and also, how would @Dr Gloom like the forward line he Gloomed on right now?

I bet he’s got a proper sweat on following Gillian Maxwell’s conviction as a paedophile trafficker. … Yeah, sweat on…

I honestly don’t think Piers Morgan is on the Nonce list. He’s absolutely an unrepentant fame-whore, and a whopping great cunt alongside that, but I don’t think he’s ever been “important” enough to be granted access to the inner circle of utter cuntery. Man’s a fucking weasel, but a minor one.

Have you imbibed more than the usual Yorkshire allowance?