Monkeys Fist

The fat cunt will be getting vertigo in 12th. He’s managed a top 10 finish twice in his illustrious 20+ years as a manger. Twice. He’s a serial failure

“We’ll never say it’s an achievement to finish 12th for a club of our stature but it’s an achievement.“ Thick as fucking whale spunk.

Used to be called a Fuzz Box before everyone started shaving.

https://www.sciencefocus.com/the-human-body/why-swearing-makes-you-feel-better/?utm_campaign=Why+does+swearing+feel+so+good%3F&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=AppleNews “volunteers displayed stronger handgrip strength when they swore during the test.”

I love it when @Howay goes full radge on the mackems- he’s so angrily eloquent.

That’s often the case- the high end hotels are all about the bottom line and will cut corners. Family restaurants and such are far more reliant on reputation, and can’t afford the bad press. Having said that, if the head chef was over ordering/over portioning veg on a Sunday lunch service to the point they were making soup out of it, he should’ve been p-45ed along with you. 😉

That soup tale is fucking bogging mind. I worked in a fair few places- bog standard local “Italian” places, mid-range bistros, hotels, etc and everywhere I worked was totally on the ball when it came to not doing that kind of shit. Apart from being absolutely minging, it’s just not worth risking the minuscule saving you’d make on what is the cheapest lot of ingredients you buy in to potentially be exposed as filthy bastards One place I worked at, the previous “chef” would pre-cook a shitload of long grain rice, then use it in his terrible version of risotto. I told the owner that, apart from being shite, pre-cooked rice was the number one cause of food poisoning, and we’d not be doing that anymore. I took the shite risotto off the menu, put proper risotto, with arborio rice and cooked from scratch, on the specials over the next month, then, after it went down well, we put it back on the menu at a higher price than than the shite that had been on before. After that, the owner pretty much let me do what I wanted- including abusing dodgy pant-wearers and quivering new waiters.

Suck it up, Sugartits, there’s no place for the weak in a kitchen.

Climbing “fashion” was a strange beast in the 1990s. ( I did work as a chef for a few years, any cunt wearing anything other than standard strides was roundly destroyed though - brutal places, working kitchens ).

I bought them from a hippy stall at a French market. They were probably made by a 3yr old in an Indian sweat shop.

For the first time in ages I decided to watch this pish but I kept getting phone calls from this bloke who’d say, ” Hi Marco, I’m the dandy highwayman!” ” Hi Marco, stand and deliver!” ” Hi Marco, ridicule is nothing to be scared of” Six times he rang and each time I told him I wasn’t Marco, but he was adamant. Anyway, thank fuck that’s over, eh?

Newcastle’s latest specialist coach showing off his skills before the pre-season begins.…

That’s just a bowl of cerry away from daint.

I bet you’ve got “your” stool at the pub, by the bar, near where the glass wash is so the staff can’t escape.

If looking at this makes you think of ladies, I’m happy to help - can you still get a boner without the Kamagra these days, or is Little Pinky a softy when sober?

I spent a few days climbing and staying at La Mussara, an abandoned village up in the hills near Tarragona way back when. There’s a mountain refuge/inn/bunkhouse there, but the rest of the town is ruins. Stunning place, right on the cliff edge. I met a right fox there too. Agree about Spanish lasses, too

Apparently Bill Bailey has offered to do it next year I’d probably watch that.

Aye, remember when one of our lot threatened Pardew outside the ground… oh, no, that was one of theirs* with Coleman, outside the SOS, and on film. Remember when one of ours glassed Freddy Shepherd when he was out for a meal with his Mrs?… shit, no, again, one of theirs glassing Murray out for a meal I could go on but we all know the incidents… The only time I recall a manager of ours talking with fans on the steps was Keegan, after selling Cole, and I don’t recall anything other than passion and respect. *the fucking knuckle-dragger who did this is the (now ex) husband of one of Mrs.F’s colleagues. This incident apparently doesn’t even make the top 10 of fuckwitted/terrible things he’s done

He’s like the Andi Osho of internet trolls. But even less funny.

Smackems

🎼Tell me ma, me ma, I’ll be home about 6pm. 🎼

After years as a yo-yo club, I’m pleased they finally seem to have found their level.

No

How was your pizza/cheese on toast the other night?