Monkeys Fist

Her face is so tight now that when she smiles she gives herself a medgie* * for the uneducated, a minge wedgie, hungry front bum, etc.

Are you watching it with your Mam or in your nest?

He does. Looks a bit jowly.

He’ll be getting squad number 6, obvs.

Do they look hideous? Whossname from Episodes seems fairly normal? Btw, since it’s a 1990s-early Noughties show, they missed a trick if they didn’t call it Friends Reunited and stream it on dial-up.

He’ll be signing Shi Tsin Seet , Fuk Yung Fan and Hoo Fuk He.

You can… … whilst you are

Lee Gwan. *I’ll report myself

Why do you swallow what you read about China’s infection rates? Surely a well researched conspiracy nut knows not to trust those pesky yellow folks?

Your own hands don’t count

“ Farmer Dave”?

I reckon I could get a game at SAFC now, too.

I didn’t get that far… does Chiles actually do that? What an absolute throbber.

“the equivalent in deaths of a twin towers terrorist attack happening on these shores every week for a year” Fucking hell.

Trying to get my daughter to sign up to the free after-school volleyball sessions which have now become active at her school. ( She loves volleyball and is pretty damn good at it).… “ Are you going to have a crack at this volleyball club, Petal?” ” No Dad, none of my friends are doing it.” ” So? If you sign up you’ll make new friends, can’t be bad,eh?” ” YOU DONT MAKE NEW FRIENDS AFTER YEAR 9, DAD!” I mean, she’s not wrong, but still…

Those that vote Tory have already demonstrated their “I’m not listening” approach. Cummings will simply be portrayed as a ‘traitor’ and the press will print some fucking garbage distraction about James Hewitt’s lad and his wife and it’ll all be forgotten.

Aye. I think he knows , like the rest of us, the chances of it actually happening are smalller than my chances of slinging one up Salma Hayek. I’d enjoy either, or both, but not equally

I couldn’t listen beyond him blaming the Liverpool fans, ( I’ve just got a new phone and don’t want to bounce it off the wall). He’s got one of those punchable voices, dripping with privilege, which doesn’t help.

Pot being stirred

Revenge. It’s entirely personal and he seems to be focusing his ire on Johnson, his latest cumbucket, and Hancock. Got to say it’s very well done, he’s way more convincing than the Bishop Auckland presser, and even a little bit human, which is impressive.

Lickspittle In Chief

If you think of the Cabinet as a schoolyard, (which it basically is, private and very elite), Hancock is the little toad that collects the dinner money and sweets from Schapps and Sunak for Johnson and Raab. He’s a little bitch.

How else will he keep his family supplied with multi-million pound contracts?

Hancock will be golden- we’ve got Johnson as PM, Patel as Home Secretary, Raab as Foreign Secretary, and Grant Schapps as Transport Goblin. Grant fucking Schapps.… So aye, Mancock will be fine, he’s in good company.