Monkeys Fist

Get in a canoe, you Tubby Tit- my hip is crumbling away so I’m out of the long walks until I get an update, but my brother and I are planning to do the Great Glen canoe trail (Fort William to Inverness) over 5 days next year with our sons. Hills, lochs, wild camping, fishing, pubs all whilst sat on your fat keister- it’s perfect for you. (If you sit up front you’ll go faster too, as your conehead is aerodynamic) Edit; it’s also a perfect opportunity to buy a shitload of kit you’ll never use, then sell a year later for a tidy loss 👍

The bloke I mentioned above, Norman Croucher, had this to say, ”Obviously, keeping your feet warm is a problem in high altitude climbing — but only if you have feet. While companions war-dance to keep theirs from freezing, I can stand on ice for hours. Climbing high or in a bivouac, I'm always the joker who doesn't have cold feet.”

The cabinets or the carpet?

Norman Croucher is the one who springs to mind for me, double amputee, climbed peaks all over the world ( not Everest though). Some lad… https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_Croucher ( I’d have changed my surname though )

Fucking hop, soft shite

Eh?

Renton doesn’t want Boldon chavs stinking up his Lake District on the cheap.

Barton is council Nigella

And that’s why you got tied to a donkey cart.

Ask and ye shall receive…

The partial remains of the lass from Durham who went missing in the Pyrenees have been found. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-58022860 Call me a cynic, but there’s definitely a rabbit off here, like.

Next Friday… 😉

The fact he still holds the PL goal scoring record, by a considerable margin, says how much of a beast he was.

Flares would like a word…

FYP

He’s definitely “dropping the kids off at the pool”- water is totally flat, except for the turbulence directly below his second mouth.

Pretend Moderator.

We now have the “biggest drinking manager in Europe”. Here he is buttering his cheeks after a night on the Amstel.

“If”

“ Pimms-drinking Shithouse”

* walks in to hostel after a 20 mile hike, spots CT firing up the portable microwave, turns around and walks 20 miles more to sleep in a bush.

Didn’t Gazza live in one during his “ Roast Chicken and Fishing Rod” period?