Monkeys Fist

FYP

Gandaft- “ So, what do I get for my £43.57p- a handjob, tittyfuck, or what?” Brass… “ Er, no”

I like that none of them have realised that Starmer just said we’re all cunts. Man’s smooth. 😉

Reported.

Aye, sorry to hear this Renton, you’ve had a rough few months.

Oof. My worst nightmare.

I’ve just filled up in Heaton, took 5 minutes. BAU

Essembee sitting at the home with his overcoat on, holding a spoon like Motty’s mic whilst he types

Son of a gun, did you have big fun on the Bayou?

Probably “ Ooh!”

Our “smart” meter has to be plugged in, costing me to run the fucker. Genius meter.

Who’s going to tell him?

Life’s a constant struggle on the breadline, isn’t it?

The context changes it a bit- Red lad is taking a free kick and White lad strolls in front and kicks it away, getting a boot for his troubles. I’m sure Red lad is still a total fucking cunt, mind

Jimmy Greaves- 81. Jimmy Grieves, more like, etc. https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/58613988

Aye, sounded like he was playing next door. 😑

Whatever the live concert is in Newcastle, last night, and tonight. I’m in my house, in Forest Hall.

Covert Penne-tration Squads?

Strange decision to use Joelinton at all. He’s fucking gash.

J69’s going to stride in there and give it some David Dickinson with hard cash. “ It’s over twenty years old, the most I’ll give you is £150…” * sweat breaks out in his top lip

You’re close.

Fuck me. Here come the costume dramas.

If his coffin isn’t pulled behind a C5 then we might as well give up.

Tbf he’s going to have to shell out for damp proofing on his Manchester slum rentals at some point in the future, so he needs every penny he can screw out of the club. Poor bloke… 😑