Monkeys Fist

The Terror has struck, Dave’s it is.

I’m tempted to try replacing the fret myself- I’ve got all the tools needed and I’m pretty handy when it comes to woodwork, and inlays. Although, as you say Tom, once I’ve had a look at it I’ll probably get the Terror and give Dave the Guitar Wizard* a call * as recommended by Mr. Fabulous

Seven Nation Army is his first too- he’s now bang in to the White Stripes and has tried a couple of their songs. When he was at primary school we were paying for him have lessons and the fucker had him learning the dirge below for over a year. He, and I , grew to despise it.

I don’t think I’ll easily forget him learning it.

Oh, he’ll be made up with that! He’s come in today pleased as punch because his guitar teacher set them “Come As You Are” as their new tune to learn and it’s the third one of his suggestions that Teach has picked, out of four songs this year- he’s already got the basics down.

CT after a dig at the Sluice.

@Tom I’ll post a pic of Fist Jnr giving it Angus Young if I get it fixed. I’ve just told him and he’s so excited he’s shaking like a shitting Renton

Fair dos.

Aye, that’s not shadow in the background, it’s a gas cloud.

Isn’t Renton still isolating? I suppose we could schlep down to the coast and take a shit in his garden? Either way, if Fist Jnr makes it as a Guitar God it’ll make for an interesting tale of how he came to own his second guitar.

Nice one man! So, we meet at 8:30pm in Havana nature reserve car park, a well known dogging site ( so I’m told). We park up, flash our lights three times each, then exit the vehicles and approach each other, whilst wearing our IRA balaclavas. You shout “ Chinese Mouse!” in your most offensive Asian accent you can muster, I’ll recite some of James Joyce’s filth in my best Norn Iron accent. We make the switch, back away, never breaking our gaze, repeating our arranged lines. At no point do we even acknowledge the presence of shady blokes with rapidly wilting dicks in hands. Or, dm me your address and I’ll nip round at a suitable time. ( I’ll let the Littlewood reference slide this time, since you’re giving me a guitar for nowt, but… thin ice man, thin ice )

Are you really going to bin it Gemmill? If so, I’ll take it for Fist Jnr and see if I can replace the fret? I realise that would involve a face-to-face meeting, which you may understandably be intimidated by, so we can do a dead-drop in Gossy Park and pretend we’re spies.

What are the odds she was surfing the turtle whilst they took the photo?

No need for that kind of language tbh.

You can kind of understand why he became obsessed with her ringpiece …

I think he might have been in the Kid Dynamite club tbh. “You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole.”

That’s all very well Gloomy, but since we’re talking bollocks … Yiz playin pool n yiz snookad, can yiz play the jump shot? ( hitting cue baal awwa anuntha baal te hit ya cullad baal)? Yes ah nah?

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-59386261.amp and… https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-59937510 So, @Christmas Tree , having been comprehensively rinsed by a beginner 13yr old lass and a Spanish badger, is it time to hang up the bleepy stick yet?

I hope you pay them danger money.

Sounds like you do anyway. Imagine walking down Northumberland St. and seeing Renton curling out a steamer outside of Fenwicks, waving his Poo Pass lanyard at everyone as they recoil in horror. “ IT’S FINE- MY BOTTOM IS … …NNNNNGGGGHHHAAAH… …DISABLED!” *edited for added mental imagery.

“ Mam, can you remember when we walked up that mountain and the sweaty man at the top did a poo and EVERYONE COULD HEAR HIM GRUNTING AND PLOPPING?” ” Yes dear, but let’s try to forget”.

I did ponder whether to leave a meaty nugget for the local fauna to nibble on, but they mightn’t like spicy food so I took the bag option, also, I’m not a FUCKING SAVAGE!

Once you can forgive, but this bloke landed in the same spot twice??? What a whopper.