Monkeys Fist

As puns go, this is pretty Shiite

Roman Abramovich: Premier League disqualifies Chelsea owner as director of club https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60720343

I watched a documentary on BBC4 about how ship's hulls are held together. It was riveting…

You’re on fire tonight

Has our “greatest player” become a conspiracy theory spouting covidiot whilst simultaneously showing himself to be thicker than a Boxing Day turd? I don’t think he has. We win- get fucked

Go on son!

Who’d have thought, 12 months ago, that we’d be wiping our arses with £100 pound notes and Chelsie literally don’t have a pot to piss in? It’s fucking glorious

You’ll need this if you’re planning on bringing him back

Totally forgot Sqiudward played for us.

This is no surprise, since Only Fools and Horses is also a fucking pile of wank.

And he’s only 18.

Soon, there will be no more Garys. I expect to hear “ No more Garys any more”, instead of No More Heros by the Stranglers.

Is your partner also called Gary, Gary?

“ The cracks, though in appearance are worrisome, upon investigation are superficial, seeming to emanate from the bathroom and the garage- specifically behind the sofa next to several arcade machines. Our recommendation is to contract tradesmen to repair the cracking and for the client to stop tearing the neck off it quite so enthusiastically in his man cave “

Probably on her 2nd bottle by then

Elvis, Lady Di, and Marilyn Monroe-it’s a Viz Commemorative Plate house! ( Knocking bet there’s a Queen Mother portrait in the bog).

Mackems watching Bruno’s goal ( because they all have) ( Also, mackems s(h)itting in the South Stand)

I think we all need to calm down, sit at the garden table, pop a “raisin congelé” in some cheekily fragrant rosé, and have a plate of tapas Inglesas

Trust a mackem to screw things up.