Monkeys Fist

Which one is the costume?

The lovely young lady behind the bar slipped a roofie in your Caffreys- she’s a known mycophile.

Low t, mask-wearing freak. It’s the only sensible explanation.

That’s fair enough, he can’t do anything bar polish the turds he’s got until January. Speaking of which, has the Mrs. got latex gloves?

My take from this, is how would it have played out under Bruce? We’d have been fucking trounced. Without a doubt. Howe has made a significant difference to the same set of players we were all fucked off with, in a very short time. I’m under no illusions that he can’t get too much more out of them, but there’s the January window to bring in the players needed. It’s there to be done ( staying up), and if he pulls it off it’ll be remarkable, tbh, but it’s not yet impossible.

How should he have approached this game then? Before the match, and then once we went to ten men? How would you have done it?

Ice cubes. Your lass Now.

Aye, that was a terrible time in our history. I’d hate to see a return to it…

Come on lads, positive play- beat these fucking yokels!

Ahh, ffs.

Can we ask the lads who are there tonight to keep an eye out for Adam Pearson if we win this- the poor lad will be red raw in the ground and probably dehydrated. If you see him flagging, just rub Eddie’s programme notes on his fevered brow and he’ll be golden. Cheers

Oooh, fucking hell Hayden!

Without wanting to jinx it, if we break our duck playing with 10 men for 80+ minutes, it might just do us the world of good from a confidence point of view. I’ve fucked it now, haven’t I?

Do you mean BUJ7GOODANDPROPER?

At this point, Bruce would be replacing midfielders with fucked defenders. Attack! Attack! Attack!

No one cares about your predilections.

Get the fuck in, just

If that’s not a pen for handball then Quiff is high t.

When his lass fucked him off for the bigger, higher t, cock monster of an ex, he lost more than a cumbucket- he lost his mojo. Sad.

Paper? We’re not savages man. Wet wipes, in the freezer for 15 minutes. You’re welcome.

Just a reminder to all the lads who are there tonight- £2.85 for a pint of Doombar in the Percy. At that price you can probably get 8-10 in before full time if you fuck off now

How’s the arsehole holding up? Get your lass to give you a hoop massage with an ice cube- won’t help much but it’s a tale for the grandkids.

No need to kick Quiff when he’s down, man.