Monkeys Fist

I wouldn’t give Simon Jordan the steam off my shite.

I’ve got a 15 year old car that’s kept it’s place in my garage. It’s rusty as fuck, performs like a duck swimming through custard, and, even though I’d like nothing more than to burn the fucking thing, it’s vital that I keep it on the road. It’s only in my garage because the funding to buy a Maserati isn’t there. If I won the lottery though…

Oh no. How is the poor man going to support his “undetermined number” of kids through prep, private, then Oxbridge without his regular grift? Universal Credit just won’t cut the mustard. If only he had a network of obscenely rich chums that he’d filled the pockets of throughout his time as PM to fall back on… … the cunt.

@Tom, change the lads name to Ciaomanheyman, it’s doing my head in.

Je ne fais pas vraiment des tactiques. Envie d'une pinte ?

Ah, eh bien, tu sais. Nous allons retrousser nos manches. Où sont les chips au fromage et à l'oignon ?

Bacon is lardons in French, which is even better

어떻게 베이컨.

Richard Keys? Does he mention fucking his daughter’s best mate when his wife was having cancer treatment or not?

I have mind. One time they got absolute pelters for it, on a site in Dumfries. The other time was in Leeds, and the bloke getting the abuse was my former business partner, who’s half Indian ( no, he’s not called Ian). We both gave the lad pelters but were very much in the minority. There’s a pattern emerging here

I’d add to my initial post, not too long after Mrs.F. and I got married we went to stay with some friends who’d moved to Elland. We went out for a wander along the canals, all very nice, then went to a party at their neighbours house. It was fucking Britain First with hors d’oeuvres- house full of racists decrying “ t’Pakehs” and planning their transport arrangements to an EDF rally- not joking either, that’s what they were talking about as we arrived. The craziest part was one them was a black lad, fully in to the anti-Asian crack. Mental. Mrs.F. unloaded her full wrath and it was a fucking joy to behold.

In my experience as a contractor for about 20-odd years, I’ve yet to meet a white Yorkshireman who isn’t a rancid racist, and I’ve met fucking loads. Obvs, I’ve never met Wykiki 😉

@thebrokendoll triggered to fuck.

Totally Johnson’s idea… Boris Johnson proposes ban on MPs working as paid consultants as Labour outlines plan https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-59311003 edit; they’ve since changed the banner of the piece to “Johnson follows Labour call to ban MP paid advisor jobs” from the original I quoted above. I blame @Dr Gloom and his itk mate.

I’ve got to say it’s great fun being the villains.

Doing some house chores and chewing the inside of me cheeks.

Loves pineapple, and racism.

Aye, this one is my age, 53, and from Longbenton. Imagine getting locked up as a Hoolie at 53 man.

Funnily enough, so did I. He was banged up in September for hooliganism, daft twat.

Played 186. Won 1. Managed by Steffano Bruccioli? Motto; Com’è la pancetta, l’hai detto?

Bursting in at No.2, Poop Pickers!

New band name- A Cloud Of Piss Mist.

Have you heard his podcast- Walker Waffle?