Monkeys Fist

I knew a lad with no feet. Neil. His brother had no shins Tony.

I made it three paragraphs in before launching my phone- anyone able to make it all the way through Laura’s little tantrum piece here? https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx28d72948vo

Reversed in to a lamp post- no serious damage, just a little al dente?

Name that DJ.

Easy. The Smiths.

You need to consult your wolfie doodle.

Too right- he might have dropped his tabs!

I’m on a run up to Elgin and Inverness- currently taking a break just outside Blair Atholl. The night sky up here absolutely immense- so many stars visible without the usual light pollution. ( By the way, when did the Sweaties decide to copy the West English and start putting the local gibberish names on road signs, as well as proper English? ).

How old was she when the kid?????

Oops- wrong shite ex-Newcastle manager. Schteve is Jamaica gaffer

I thought he was the Jamaica coach? Is the fat fuck now stealing two wage packets?

Aye, my condolences mate- it’s rough as hell when you lose someone so close to you, she sounds like a wonderful woman.

Speaking of unintelligible freaks, I’m spending the next 9-10 hours in Wisbech. I almost dropped in on Meenzer but as I went past his gaff I noticed the net curtains were drawn and Gnorman the Gnarden Gnome was turned towards the wall, so I took it as meaning he was WFH* That, and my “passenger” was starting to come round- even with the ball gag and the sack on her head this one’s a proper screamer, so I didn’t want to upset the neighbours- maybe next time Meenz? So, Wisbech… absolute pig fuckers * WFH- either Working From Home or Furiously Hard.… … potayto potahto.

Is he speaking English?

Who’s this cunt?

Went to get a spade and rake out to do the garden earlier- found a homeless Arab lad in there. “ Who the fuck are you?” says I “ Amin Yashed”

I woodn’t bother him.

I don’t know for sure, but I suspect he’s a six-finger-special by birth, then his standard of living improved vastly when he moved to Newport

Bumbaclaat Bob at the end

Fair do.

Name and shame the thick bastard’s shop please

This lad is suffering from an acute case of “ All The Gear But No Idea” syndrome. Luckily for him, if he keeps on hanging off cladding tiles he won’t be suffering from it for long. For those of you wondering what is wrong with this , he’s drilling in to, and hanging off, cladding tiles, not a solid building wall. Those things are secured to the building by various means, but all of them are only designed to take a little more than the weight of the tile, not fucking Monkey Mick here. Other than that , he breaks one of the golden rules of rope access right at the start, by only being secured to one point. ( The rope running from him to whatever it’s tied to inside is essentially pointless, since if he fell on to it, it’d very likely be sliced by the window edge, if not, he’d be taking what’s known as a factor 2 fall… internal injuries and pissing blood for the rest of his short life. ( edit: as PaddockLad points out , it’s utterly pointless too, as the ac unit could’ve been fitted from inside the building ).

Can’t really blame her though- last few times she let it out she almost made enough to fix the lift at the SoS.