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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. What about The Big 1 and The Has Beens? Quite like the sound of that
  2. I wonder if, once we get our shit together, they’ll make it a Big 7, or will someone get relegated to “The Rest”?
  3. It was all going so well for them- “five in a roweh”, The Italian Fascist manger, Hippo Heed, then… fucking oblivion, and all of it recorded for our enjoyment. Maybe I’m wrong and there is a God
  4. There’s the problem- have a chat with the doc, they can help.
  5. Can you imagine a “Craft” vaccine, and the absolute guff they’d use to describe it? “ Having been given an 18th Century syringe that his Differently Abled neighbour dug up, our Master Brewer, Crispin, was inspired to create our new, pure, vaccine- The H to Oh. We marinate organic mango, Bacon Frazzles, and some artisanal lettuce for two weeks in our repurposed outdoor vats, then cold-filter it through authentic Artex tiles for 2 months, removing all the impurities and ingredients, leaving us with our pristine, vegan and gluten-free H to Oh vaccine. As our co-op motto is “Sharing is Caring”, all our vaccines are injected from the same 18th Century syringe that inspired our creation* * Putrid Rat Brewery will donate 20p from each vaccine shot (£15:30 per shot) to the funeral costs of all our valued customers.”
  6. Great. Another piss-arsed club to hate for centuries when they knock us out.
  7. Are the Premier League happy to have club owners from a murderous, racist country that routinely executes its citizens, both judicially and by its militarised police force? Not to mention it’s abysmal record of invading foreign states. I expect a shady meeting of the 19 clubs other than Dirty Leeds toute-fucking-suite.
  8. Fucking a man-baby clearly left a bad taste in her mouth.
  9. Someone obviously misspelt “leftist” when they commissioned that.
  10. Mine preferred the Coloured* 12” special release.… … which apparently has its own category on Pornhub. *reported.
  11. Aren’t books just a pointless waste of resources, though, now that we’ve got the interweb electronical books?
  12. Last time I got this excited about something coming down I ended up with two kids.
  13. I want this to happen, just to amuse myself seeing fat gammons wondering around the city with “Botman” on the back of their replica tops.
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