Monkeys Fist

Sounds like a week in the life of Gloomy tbf.

So, I’ve just finished 6 days of 9hr shifts, dropping shite off for angry Regrexit farmers and such, which means I’ve spent a lot of time listening to my music catalogue. It struck me today how many excellent cover versions there are, which are arguably better than the originals. There’s the obvious ones- Joe Cocker, Sinead O’Connor, Jimi Hendrix… …. what about the rest? What’s your favourite cover version? Several that I noted over the past week are… Edit; I’ve added the original, and I’ll change “better than the original” to “equally as good as”, mainly because Karen Carpenter was fucking incredible… also, Jimi… ffs Fire away gents.

Investigation- no. Criminal- definitely

I’d be pissed off if my lass bought Darkness tickets too, mind.

Someone send this to the Met.

Finland’s PM showing everyone how to fuck up in style. Sanna Marin: Finland's PM sorry for clubbing after Covid contact https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-59577371 ( Would, obvs. )

Watched a film last night about a bloke who went round librarys pouring meat juices over the non-fiction books. It was baste on a true story.… I thangew.

FYP

Why wait? Here he is!

So, since it’s December and I’ve ran out of fireworks to annoy the neighbours with, I’ll post my favourite Christmas joke. After recording The Little Drummer Boy with Bing, Bowie noticed he was looking a bit glum. Bowie-“ Everything ok Bing?” Bing-“ Sorry David, my inflatable arse has a slow puncture…” Bowie-“ Sorry to hear that Bing, would you like to borrow my Rubber Bum Pump?” Bing-“ A Rubber Bum Pump?” Bowie-“ A Rubber Bum Pump.” Lick iz.

Is Charlie Brooker writing their script?

Are you me?

Every one loves a sailor- no politics, no BS.

Ffs

No chance the Tories will let anyone even slightly tanned be Big Boss.

I mean… come on!

What struck me on watching that video was, ” How did the Mirror get this?” It has to have come from inside No.10, much like Fat Mancock’s snogging video. If they want Johnson out, which is the whisper, this is maybe how they’ll do it.

I rang them to do just that, but they were out. Tricky fuckers.

They’re on four in a row now- two more seasons of turgid incompetence and they can finally live their dream.

@trooper- you’re slacking here mate, Gemmill’s getting the drop on you.

First time he’s ever been short of pies…

I’d also like to be a fly on the wall at the shareholders meetings when they explain why they’ve turned down big money profit on saleable players. “ Aye, but we’re all in this together …” “Get fucked- where’s my money?”