Monkeys Fist

1.5”… flaccid?

Winner by a short length.

Newcastle managers coming 1st and 33rd out of 33.

Their advertising line “ Cazoo yeah you can!”, delivered in a brummie accent, is quite possibly the most vile phrase ever to despoil the English language.

Bane of my life, tbh.

Sir Michael and his old school friend Sir Warwick Hunt QC are fine gentlemen from a time when things were better.

( his exchange with RightSaidFred is very good).

What about selling jam to New Zealand?????

The neighbours, watching Tubs install his newly-acquired fire hazard next ti the leather sponge … ” Oh god, he’s heating the stench!”

Has Mindy Kaling got owt to do with it?

His wardrobe is definitely a Tesco bag.

Can we get Aramco to give us £6 billion as our Himalayan Pink Salt sponsor?

Mr. Elbow on 6Music has just played this, with both dead lads, Vangelis and Demis It’s pretty damn good tbh. Btw, given the aversion our European chums had to deodorant in the 1970s, that studio must’ve stank like Billy Storey’s favourite (only) jacket.

#winbyproxy. It’s funny but they 100% view it as such.

Fuck me. That’s utterly insane, but explains a lot.

Birds of a feather, innit?

Natural causes or…

Hammers- start with hammers

Well, this is convenient … https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-61615236

Can he still lead the party if he’s not an MP? Just wondering, in the event he lost his seat, whether he’d actually resign as leader if he didn’t have to? I’d assume they have to be (an MP), but I wouldn’t put anything past the skinbag.

Signwriter- “ Done, looks grand tbs tbs” Galway- “ It’s Eamonn Deacy Park, ya feckin eedjit! “ Signwriter-“ Pour us a pint, I’ll be done before it’s settled!” Galway- “ Fair fucks to ye!”

Whale Oil Beef Hooked

The article attached makes no mention of Ashworth btw, but instead says that non-playing staff have had a pay rise, the first in over 10 years for many. https://12ft.io/proxy?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thetimes.co.uk%2Farticle%2Famanda-staveley-sweetens-the-deal-for-newcastle-staff-mqbv6lpn5

CT’s “gardening gear”- Leather polish, concrete cleaner, wood paint.