Monkeys Fist

Oof! That’s awful news - poor bloke, i echo everyone’s best wishes for his recovery. Aye, thoroughly decent move. I’d be swiping my desk, rattling the secretary on it one last time, then striding out the minute I got the diagnosis.

Current estimated costs for rebuilding it are $1.7-1.9 billion. “ If only we’d listened to that miserable Yorkshire cunt!”

That’s the one that collapsed, aye?

As Fish was out for his pre-elevenses constitutional this morning , he heard what he thought was an angry duck approaching him from behind, and turned around just in time to be assaulted by the stench cloud as Mary-Anne Hobbs fart-stepped her way past him, necking cabbage-flavoured Japanese Kit-Kats. Poor lad’s had his day ruined.

Absolute emotional rollercoaster. Finished my shift and my 9:30pm return load is from a drinks factory at Kegworth. Sleep spot 5 minutes away at Donington Services. I thought I’d nip in and see if I could dump my trailer there, let them load it whilst I’m on my 9hrs, also letting me park anywhere in the services as I’d just be my wagon only, no trailer. Bloke in charge was top notch- “ No problem me Duck!” Dump the trailer, pull in to the services, get parked in a quiet spot, and think “ Mint- uninterrupted kip!” Then I hear a plane taking off next door and realise I’m 2 minutes from East Midlands Fucken Airport.… Never mind, earplugs to the rescue. Off I toddle to check out the showers- they’re huge cubicles, with a double bench, constant flow ( not having to press a button every 10 seconds), and are spotless! I think, “ Best drop my final cargo of the day!” and nip in to the bog to release the Kraken, and it’s clean, fragrant, and roomy! This is too good to be true! And it was. As I was making an arse barrier on the seat with big roll, the flush went off. “ Odd?” Went to get some more paper, flushed again… It was sensor operated. Sat down to lay cable, 10 seconds in, fucking flushed again. Neptune’s bastard Kiss. But it wasn’t just the one peck on the cheek, oh no! I lost count after the tenth icy cold barse shower, and, every time, I involuntarily clenched - my turd must’ve looked like a fucking Yorkie with the bricks and the break-offs. Now back in the Strangle Wagon, about to strangle it, then kip! Goodnight 😘

Preach, brethren.

So , listened to all four of their albums, and the verdict is in, Pop Pickers! My preference as the moment is 1,4,2,3, but that’s academic really- they’re fucking outstanding. Out of the whole 4 albums I only skipped two tracks, one with Jorja Smith singing, and the other with some chipmunk-voiced little fuck wit called Moonchild Very talented lot, the bassist and drummer being particularly good. 5/7.

French Knock Knock joke; “Frappe frappe” ”Qui est la?” ” Lostie!” ” Lostie qui?” ”Oui!”

Fyp

The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin’ ( Late to the thread … bite me).

Didn’t Spud also plaster a wall with his shite?

That’s the one with a little swab stick that you need to wipe on your shite, aye? Unless you’re pulling Aces at every drop, you’re focusing on the wrong source material Let your brown trout flush away and give your hoop a quick flyby with the swab, then commence the clean up operation in your filthy sitter manner.

Couple of random facts for you. The plural of Beef is Beeves. Indiana Jones is completely irrelevant to the outcome of Raiders of the Lost Ark. When you are in a relaxed state, your tongue is stuck to the roof of your mouth.… … and now you’ve all just stuck your tongues to the roof of your mouths

You obviously weren’t within whiffin’ distance.

I’ve heard she eats Kit-Kats like Mars bars and she smells of bins.

There was a session by the Ezra Collective on Mary-Anne-Makes-My-Teeth-Itch Hobbes earlier on Radio 6. Very good if you’re in to a bit of jazz funk type gear. I’ll be going through their catalogue tomorrow when I’m back in the Strangle Wagon.

Lovely part of Wales. I spent a month or two, most of it stuck on Shell Island absolutely baked off my lips, but when we got out it was nice seeing the sights. My Harlech Castle tidbit is that when it was built, it was on a sea cliff. Sneaky bastids have moved it!

Is that Jayne Mansfieid’s head in the back?

Popty = oven in West English Of all the daft Welsh language words they’ve made up, Popty Ping for microwave is way out in front.

A classic.

Extended YEYP

She was ill for their 2023 Glastonbury gig so Sandi Toksvig hoyed a black wig on and stood-in.

Depending on what kind of UK break you’re after Ayatollah, Dumfries and Galloway is really nice, 2hrs in the car, and has some really nice accommodations if you hunt about, if you’re after a get-away-from-it-all break. If you’re after a more city based thing, Bristol is really nice, albeit a bit of a fuck-on to get to. I’d agree with the lads above, North Wales is great, relatively easy drive to get there, and plenty to do.

Tbf to the lad on the right, at least he’s facing the right way. Im not surprised James Dean died in a traffic accident if that’s how he thought you ride a motorcycle.