Monkeys Fist

I was going to say The Likely Lads, then I remembered Bolam is a cunt …and a mackem.

Gemmill’s going to be breaking his screen tapping the fuck out of it to get to Twitter

FYP

We should have Untrimmed Fannyuary next new year, a Festival of Funk. Not sure if it’ll help the bees but there’s a honeypot pun in there fighting to get out.

Finbarr Saunders is loving these last few posts.

Didn’t have pizza base, used 8 sacks of boiled rice. Didn’t have tomato ragu, either, used 6 FUCKING JARS OF LOYD GROSSMAN BHUNA!!!!!!

Makes duck pizza. Uses a flock.

Oh, I didn’t for one minute think there was. There can’t be - It’s got him in it.

CT’s weekly online shopping has arrived.

Billy is uncharacteristically quiet on his Twatter. #omens #heronfoods #stadiumoftramp

So I guess the question is, 10 years down the line, has CT turned his Mrs. in to a plasterer’s radio or is every sperm still sacred? ( Mrs. F. keeps a pack of wet wipes and a shower cap in her drawer ). Giddup!

As much as I’m on the side of Ukraine, that reads, very much, like anti-Russian propaganda. I have no doubt shit like this, and worse, is being done , but this has a strong whiff about it. Ukraine doesn’t need anti-Russian propaganda.

I think you should. Enquiries from them might get a more appropriate response from your FA, whilst giving you some weighty back-up should your FA chose to be arseholes about it to you.

South Shields are no longer their friends, thanks to ex-legend Kevin “Mag Behaviour” Phillips posing next to Shearer’s statue. I sense a move on Gateshead in the sunderland’s Friends Table, especially since they’re on the up. Expect a raft of posts rewriting their non-existent history of mutual love, along with spurious claims of MLF membership by Gateshead born celebrities… … are there any Gateshead born celebrities?

There’s open access to a lot of university coursework, mainly US ones, which might be something both @PaddockLadand @Howmanheyman might find useful? With a bit of digging you could find something to scratch the learning itch without shagging the wallet. I’m bang in to my history, particularly medieval and pre-medieval Britain, and love reading about new theories/discoveries If you tell me what period/topic of history you’re interested in I’ll see if I can find any links and hoy them up later. … or you could buy a bucket and spade and dig up rusty spoons

Not that they’ve told you, anyway…

At todays murderous prices you’ll be paying £14.90 for 8 Ace. Might be a bit short.

That Lion is buzzing his tits off.

Do you not like him, then?

Chelsea’s perfect owner

FYFYP

Can we all remember this is the town that voted Hangus The Monkey in as their first elected Mayor. Their voting slips have dot-to-dots where the crosses go.

The problem with looking at the likes of Richarlison is that you make a judgement from what we’ve seen so far… whining shithouse. But he hasn’t be “Howed” yet like Joelinton has… give him a few weeks of the Eddie treatment and I reckon you’d be looking at a totally different player.

Pimm’s?