Monkeys Fist

Hi guys! I made spaghetti bolognaise last night!

There’s nothing carbonara about it mate.

It must be about halfway up her chest by now too.

So, you cooked a shit Caesar salad then? Carbonara has four ingredients- pasta, eggs, cheese, pancetta. Your hot salad has one ingredient in common with it. That’s like calling your shits Chowder because they both have sweetcorn in them. 3/7

https://www.skysports.com/watch/video/sports/football/12594762/miguel-almir243n-goal-from-all-angles Bruno’s pass, his control and shot, his celebration

I’ve already banned the Mrs. from driving or going outside, can’t wait for our Filipino servants to arrive. Little Mohammed and Salima are getting used to their new names too.

Was the other bloke called the Tubbynator? “ Didn’t have any wrestling skills, so I used a strummer instead…”

They’ll have a fucking shit-fit when they see the new keeper kit.

Cavolo di Placenta

I’m trying to work out wtf it is-murdered cabbage, can’t see any pasta ( Keto, innit blud), and… chicken? Or is it canned Tuna? No 🍒 either. 5/7.

And devilishly handsome 💦

NFT. No Fucking Thankyou.

CT getting out of bed.

If he had a fucking clue what they were, CT would definitely be a Furry.

Party time.

If you don’t have any black pepper, just sprinkle on some instant coffee after you’ve cooked it, as it , briefly, looks the same.

Got any sour cream? if you mix a bit of that with the Philadelphia you’ll be close. Or, if you’re going shopping as you say… … BUY SOME FUCKING MASCARPONE YOU ABSOLUTE WHOPPER! 6 litres should do you.

Got any crème fraiche?

Whack some cheddar in, you’ll be fine.

More about her here

I just hope he knows some good parking spots.