Monkeys Fist

Is that one of their players? Where’s the rest of him?

How to say “ I zoomed in on a teenager’s camel toe” without saying “I zoomed in on a teenager’s camel toe”

Nearly a fucking wheelchair, the daft cunt.

He’s like a lost soul since The Baconator got peddled, desperately searching for things to troll about … and failing.

I heard he was banging the tea lady… … ‘s mam.

I was aware of the the piss poor rates on legal aid work, which, as you state, often works out at less than minimum wage. They’re paid £100 less per day on Legal Aid work than the average day rate of a plumber. Tories are the Anti-Midas, literally everything they touch turns to shit, unless it’s going in their offshore account.

Barristers out in strike today, they’ve been offered a 15% pay rise but not until the end 2023. Whilst I fully support their right to strike, and their demands, I’m not sensing the same vitriol being directed towards them as the RMT members … funny that

Aye, but if the wind’s wrong we can smell them, all year round.

She’s just sorted my shit out too.

Suitably mental

Watching one of them invent some hypothetical scenario, then seeing the rest work themselves in to a frothy mouthed outrage at the horror of it all ( even though it’s never happened), is such a guilty pleasure

The Fish…

Which would you rather take on- One Tyson Fury sized toddler or 100 toddler sized Tyson Furys?

Guess what the little cunt was wearing when I nearly ended him?

FTMd YP

Obviously- it’s Glastonbury

I’ve just very nearly brought an end to Adam Pearson’s budding YouTube career- daft little weeble was on his phone, stepped out in front of me on Station road at the Powder Monkey roundabout. How he didn’t see a big, fucking bright orange box van is beyond me, but I braked in time. It’s only now, a few minutes later, that I’ve realised what could’ve happened and I’m shaking, tbh… …I’m sorry lads, next time I’ll hit the accelerator.

16 sodium atoms walked in to a bar, and the barman said “ Welcome to Newcastle!”

I mean, just keep them at bay until nap-time, then massacre the little shits

As if 20 mackems could afford a ticket to Glastonbury

Which “game of football” is he at, I wonder? Can’t be a kickabout with his mates because… aye

Even better splattered all over his chest

“ Incredile”???? I expect better from you David.