Monkeys Fist

Oh , you silly thing. You’ve really gone and done it now.

Aye, he sullied our turf for a couple of seasons before fucking off to join the Pistols- equally successful there. 😉

Nah- Eddie’s already said he’s getting subbed off at 30mins and replaced with … Cricket score incoming

This puts a whole new slant on things tbh. I was fairly confident we could get a win here until I saw this, but unfortunately I’m going to have to break with tradition and say 5-0 to us. Brace from Shearer, same from Ferdinand. Pair of og’s from Lebouef.

This one is for our pals down the road, but it also holds true for anyone within a few metres of Denise S’s horses mouth.

Ffs. Presumably he had insurance?

Useful????

Turns out Gloomy’s not the Messiah

So, the bike was overtaking stationary traffic? Oof.

Part of his extension stipulates that he must attend night school, so that’ll be addressed, your Maj.

“These two Eastern Europe men in a white van are in your area and WANT TO STEAL YIUR DOG, EVEN IF YOU DON’T HAVE A DOG!”

Aye, that’s what took me somewhat by surprise- there wasn’t even a moment’s hesitation before his mind went straight to “I’m a Covidiot, this is my time to shine”. I really feel for his son- only child, his dad loved him and he idolised his dad. He’s a delicate young lad at the best of times, so this has destroyed him. Poor lad

I was waiting to get my wagon loaded at the weekend, and found out via FB that a lad I’d worked with had died suddenly (from what sounds like a massive heart attack) in rather distressing circumstances* I visibly and physically reacted, and one of the loaders asked if I was ok, whereupon I told him what I’d just learned. His immediate reaction was not to express sympathy or empathy, not even to shrug it off and crack on with his job… nope. He asked me if I was on Telegram, as he reached for his phone. I knew what was coming. Started in about how the Covid vaccine had caused an “upspike” ( his word vomit, not mine), in sudden cardiac arrests, blah blah fucking blah. I cut him off, as nicely as I could, and said “Look mate, let’s agree to disagree on this” Didn’t even register… on he went. “ Mate, you can stop. Well just disagree, aye?” Nope. On he went with the crazy. That was enough for me, like. So I gave him a concentrated blast of righteous shut-the-fuck-up and a quick lesson in appropriate responses to death I wasn’t a happy bunny. I may have asked him if he had anymore disabilities, other than terminal gullibility and extreme deafness, as I’d need to know before I shoved his phone up his arse. I honestly think he still didn’t realise what he’d done wrong, the thick fuck. These dumb fuckers are balls-deep in the cult of stupidity and there is no arguing with them, “do your research !” * my mate was walking in the Lakes with his 15yr old son when he died, so the poor lad had to call MR and wait with his dead father for them to get there.

Legend has it that deep within the main support walls of the main terminal are 4 slices of pocket cheese and a lion-shaped crisp. FTM Marras!

Fyp. 👍

My cunt of a stepfather was interviewed twice by the Ripper squad, he had a fairly striking resemblance to Sutcliffe, was a trucker at the time, and had a north east accent which, thanks to the mackem, made him a prime suspect. I won’t pretend that I wasn’t gutted when it turned out he wasn’t the Ripper, and therefore wouldn’t be fucking off for a few more years at least.

Starting from the granny in her Sunday best directly behind Mirandinha , she’s Dot Swinburn, the three lasses to her left are her daughters Tracey, Sharon and Susan, and at the end is her ex, Bob Swinburn. Dot is there with her new squeeze, Micky Lamb,to her right, a Benwell lothario with a taste for oak-aged minge. They won a family ticket on the Pools and Bob is there under duress. “ They’re MY daughters, not that smarmy little prick floor manager’s from Parrishes!” Gemmill’s older brother is stood next to them.

You’d have thought with a name like Monique that Ibrahim might have a basic understanding of French, non?

I’d say his Mam’s a bit of a slag.

Working Cocker, Chocolate and Tan. Sparked out about 18 inches from his bed. Fucking idiot.

It’s a nature documentary about the rich fauna that lives in Denise Squelch’s nether regions and blubber folds. Hot Planet.

How many times “in a rower, marra!” did they win against us again? I forget as it’s been so long since it happened and it never gets mentioned.