Monkeys Fist

Tbf, a moderate Trumpet is still a racist homophobic piece of shit.

RIP to the original Kim Kardashian. Fucked her way to fame

I bet she sounds like a Yammy 125 with a fucked exhaust, going uphill.

https://metro.co.uk/2025/01/29/woman-charged-inappropriate-videos-uks-first-cyber-farting-case-22459049/ Some daft boiler is up in court for sending her boyfriend’s ex videos of her farting aggressively Sample of the quality journalism in the write-up ”Evans will also have to carry out 15 rehabilitation sessions for her sphincter whistles and must abstain from alcohol for two months” If you’re going to get a record, might as well do it in style.

Now that this board is 90% middle aged, can we all agree that Maths nerd and ginge Hannah Fry is top notch blart? Please and thankee.

Even if it did result in us kissing and making up with the EU, is it worth accepting the swing to right wing immigration bullshit that would entail? I’m fully aware that my leftism doesn’t always align with world politics, but I’ll be fucked if I’d accept right wing immigration nonsense as the status quo, just to get a foot back in the door with Europe. We’ve made our bed, until we accept it was a monumental fuck-up based on egregious lies from the Right, we’ve got to lie in it.

Why the fuck would you countenance selling our prime asset to some no-mark club for less than 50% of his market value?

Why are you two taking like you’re strangers? Is it a marital kink? Dirty bastards…

Cabbaged yp

Was this in addition to his sideline as leader of an Allstars R&B pub band?

So, by the powers of elimination, your Mrs. must be Alex. Congratulations lads, when’s your anniversary?

Two wind turbines, in a field. One says “ Hello mate, what kind of music are you in to?” Other one replies “ Well, I’m a big metal fan”

Got some blood test results from the doc yesterday … Doc- ” Mr. Fist, I’ve never seen this before in my career- your DNA is back to front” Me- “ And?”

About a month before he died, my uncle fell in a vat of lard. After that, he went downhill rapidly.

Bit late to the party, but I’ve just heard that Peter Yarrow, singer, songwriter (most famously for Puff the Magic Dragon), social activist and convicted (and pardoned) paedo died earlier this month. His band mates are hastily reprinting their comeback tour posters as Just Paul and Mary.

You’d hope for her husband’s sake that she’s a “lights off” kind of gal.

I wish him nothing but good luck. He’s been a great servant to the club, never in any kind of bother (that I can recall?) , never gave less than 100%. He seems like a really decent lad, I loved his response to that Beige cunt Grealish having a dig at him- say nowt, go on the best scoring run of his career. “Fuck you, you yam yam speaking, hair and having, no goal scoring, wet fart. “😂 Good luck Miggy. Fucking terrible haircut, mind.

Looks like Tino might have just sneezed.

Report them to the clam police. Inspector G O’Duck

Not as dirty as the lad who was at it before me. It was like melted mozzarella …

Looked it and it says it has multiple meanings, including edible clam and prostitute. Surely that’s just the one?

I take issue with this article tbh. They give The Beige the title of “closest pub to the ground”, quoting the Villa Tavern, which is nowhere near. The Holte is within sight of the ground, but…err… You can stumble out the door and fall in to your seat! It’s like 30m from the Corner. Fucking beige yam yam cunts

Fyamp