Monkeys Fist

If a man can’t meet friends, have dinner, wear an apron, roll up one trouser leg and expose one moob to the sword point held by a fellow diner, whilst plotting to keep an area of mutants medieval, then I don’t know what is right anymore.

It might be if you sink 4 gallons of lager first. Ballsack- 3 points Shaft- 1 point Brown Winker- red card.

These things☝️ 150-200g pancetta 4-6 egg yolks ( yolk only!!!!) Parmesan or pecorino, freshly grated Cook these, keep a cup of the cooking water. Cook 150-200g of pancetta, add a good old twist of black pepper drain off the oil when done. Whisk 4-6 egg yolks together, add a good handful of grated Parmesan or Pecorino ( no, cheddar will not “do”). Whisk in to the eggs about 2-3 tsp of the warm cooking water you definitely didn’t forget to save. Deglaze the pancetta pan with a bit of the water, add the noodles to it and stir them up. Take it off the heat, let it cool for a few minutes then stir the eggs through the noodles. Don’t put cabbage, chicken, mushrooms or anything else in it. Carbonara.

I suspect my daughter, our first born, is probably a vampire, considering the state of Mrs.F’s tatas for the first month of breast feeding- more blood than milk. 🤮

And then he went out and played a round of golf…

4 gallons! I’m beginning to think the “benign tremor” might have been the DTs.

Imagine the carnage as thousands of kids line up to see the Christmas window, only to run screaming from “the bad man” mooning his sweaty ringpiece at them.

“ Couldn’t fit the dog in the blender, had doner kebabs instead”

Also helped wash away the taste of the 40-60 tabs he’d get through in a match. Hobby

I’ve just learned that the UK is part of a 5 country Superleague that doesn’t need to bother with qualification. Us on the morning of the finals…

He swole, bro.

I’ll walk to the Coop but am I fuck chasing a ball around a field… … oh, have I misunderstood?

Finely tuned, at that.

Please be gentle with @ewerk today boys, he’ll be hurting.

Are we still talking about golf here, or shepherding?

At least they’ll have a chance to feed themselves for 30p a day there?

Also, golf is less a sport and more a hobby, like darts or snooker.

Given how tight the shirts are worn, an embroidered badge would probably give their upper tit some mild chafing, wouldn’t it?

A place mat?

LAVYP

Hi guys! I made spaghetti bolognaise last night!

There’s nothing carbonara about it mate.