Monkeys Fist

“ ALl I WANT FOR TITZMAS, IIIIISSSSS YOOOOOOOOOOOO!” In a change from tradition, I’ll say 5-0, 6 of them being deflections off Mariah’s jammers, 2 being their keeper slipping in puddles of jizz.

Tak some chips, from the chinkies if the mrsister is busy having another bairn. Tak some cheeyse. Mix them up in a box or summat. Wallah- Cheeysey Chips!

Just got up, totally missed this- we won????? I assume Cauty and Drummond will retain their strike partnership in the QF?

Not me- no shopping bags in sight. Anyway, here’s @Howmanheyman going to bed after a dodgy pint …

As I alluded to a few days ago, something is very “off” in the Trump campaign- none of the hangers-on and bullshit merchants from his previous runs have made much of an appearance, there’s an awful lot of “decent” republicans coming out publicly against him, his family have barely been seen bar that coke-freak married to Cunt Son No. 1, and Melania dragged herself away from being buckled by fitness coach to stand on stage for a couple of minutes in New York. Everyone of any note, bar that cunt Musk, have stepped away from the stinker. I reckon his staff know he’s lost his marbles and are just waiting for him to get locked up. Doesn’t stop the crazies from MAGAing their way down to cast their MAGA vote then doing some vocal MAGAisms for the cameras, but I reckon he’s shat in his own bed… … and pants, and in his bedside drawers, on the golf cart, in his boxes of classified documents etc.

Shortest runway I’ve ever seen.

Normally I’d back us for a win, but travel time to Mongolia, combined with the noise outside the hotel from hordes of Tuvan Throat Singers has given me pause for thought. So, in a slight break from tradition I’m going for 5-0 to us. Hat trick from Jimmy Cauty, brace from Bill Drummond, and one each from Sven Adult Botman.

Fyp

Third on the bill? I guess it’s alright…

Just realised my Dictionary has swapped the meanings of entomology and etymology. I can't find the words to describe how much it’s bugged me.

This is where all that time and effort securing Ashworth’s services is about to pay off for the Theatre of Screams mob. He’s got the contacts, has the science, and puts on a mean spread sheet, and I’m sure no one will expect Southgate as the next Red Mug.

38yrs later, Mr. Le Maitre is still a thunderous virgin.

That’s a refreshing read, and I did actually laugh out loud at “This is “Jeffrey Dahmer and Julia Child: Two Famous Chefs With Different Views Toward Ingredients.”

I’ve kept my counsel so far on the Howe/Mitchell etc situation, but… … when every single player in the side is evidently underperforming, you have to look beyond the players and wonder what’s going on to cause/fail to address this? I am 100% prepared to give Howe the benefit of the doubt here, it’s no great secret that there’s been shenanigans behind the scenes with power reshuffles and whatever, but there has to be a response on the pitch to our woeful form and if Edward can’t get that response then questions will rightfully be asked. That’s not to say it’s his fault tbh, we’ve been ridiculously hobbled by the crooked rules as far as improving the squad is concerned, but he’ll be the one to get blamed if it doesn’t improve sharpish. I wonder if we’re seeing what I’ve always suspected, that Stavely and Ghoudossi were the ones who had his back, and now that they’ve gone, he’s on his own against a “hostile” board?

Well fuck me. Get in.

VAR about to piss us off.

Get the fuck in!

Putting aside local rivalries for a moment, it’d be a nice moment for the long-suffering worldwide MLF crew, who’ve followed them in massive numbers through thin and thinner since 2018. The local mob will surely be terribly conflicted though, given their well documented dislike of the Preemyer Leaygue. Of course, the home leg of the derby will be easy to police since none of them will be prepared to compromise their staunchly held principles and long-standing support of human rights by actually attending the match at SJP. Ultimately though, if they do manage to come up, it’s their gaffer I feel sorry for, as he’s guaranteed the sack a week before the first derby, to be temporarily replaced with Kevin Ball.

Sell it to CT as a “garden curio cabinet”.

I was looking for a snappy Grateful Dead one-liner to respond with, but the best I could find went on for like, 20 paragraphs dude. RIP

Aye. He could promise to set up Hooker stations at work for free blowjobs if you work 30+hrs a week. Doesn’t make any difference as nowt that falls out of his cats-arse mouth means anything.

He was bitten by a radioactive spider whilst working at a nuclear plant, and developed the ability to shoot strings of radioactive jism at will. Useless for crime fighting purposes, buggered for having kids, but he gets to wear a Lycra bodysuit with a crotch flap.

Nice sly little attempt at rounding up a crowd to kick off when he gets sent down again. They should move his court appearance to Glasgow or something on the morning. (This bloke is a proper little cunt mind, utter weasel. )