Monkeys Fist

Possibly? They’re the dirty slags of politics- they’ll jump in bed with anyone.

He had three years to do something about that- bit late now Steven.

Gloomy hoverboarding down the train through the Millwall lads

Lizzy could always sign off her “70 Years on the Posh Dole Party” by sacking the cunt. If he lost a No Confidence vote but refused to go, which wouldn’t be at all beyond happening, she’d be well within her power to do so.

New T-shirt arrived

Just a gentle reminder regarding Ellwood

The only title they’ll be winning for a decade or several

At my Dad’s funeral, because we followed the rules in place at the time, we were allowed 15 people inside for the service. That meant that not all of his family could attend- some of his elder grandchildren volunteered to stay outside so that the younger ones could attend. I was full of admiration for them then, but I’m fucking raging now, because we were played.… us and hundreds of thousands of other families who had to make the same incredibly hard decisions, and those who weren’t allowed to be present with their loved ones in their last moments. My dad refused to go in to hospital at the end for that very reason - he didn’t want to die alone. It came at a cost, as his last days were, frankly, fucking horrendous, but he had his family with him when he went. I know Renton wasn’t able to be with his sister when she passed away, because he followed the rules like the rest of us, as hard as that was to do. The fact Johnson hasn’t got the fucking honour or courage to stand down from his position now that he’s been exposed is no surprise at all, but it doesn’t stop my incandescent anger at him and his sycophantic cronies- I’ll never forget this, and I sincerely hope nobody else who was made a mug by him does either. I wish only the worst of everything for him.

To be fair to Bruce though, all his sides have a very clear style- utter, turgid shite. He’s like the Anti-Midas, everything he touches turns to shit.

Probably adopted tbh.

Did not know Roeder was double jointed mind.

Smarts a bit.…

The stench that’s going to be wafting in to next door’s garden after the first mildly warm day … (let’s not forget, CT is ging, so sweats when the fridge is opened). Back, sack and swamp arse sweat, mixed with mutt jizz, and the sweet tang of piss from when he has more than two bottles of Blue fucking Moon and and passes out

Are you playing Blue Monkey compilation tapes at full volume on your phone to complete the absolute fucking charva look? (You know that everyone in your street is legally required to declare you if they sell their house? )

Aye- that and fear. Fear that their club will miss out on the gravy train they’ve been used to because we’ll take their place at the trough.

Aye, as soon as Johnson said they weren’t involved, you knew they were.

Has @PaddockLad stolen your donkey or something equally heinous?

I’ve piled the beef on lately, so I rang Weightwatchers and said “ Look, it’s an emergency, can you send someone round?” They said, ” Aye, we’ve got loads of them”

It’d be fucking amazing if, after they inevitably sack wossname after 15 games and no points, they bring back the Saviour of Shit Championship teams, as he’ll be out of work by then too.

Sixteen sodium atoms walked in to a bar, and the barman said ” Hello Batman”.

I keep it in the van, with the duct tape, scissors and rope. 👍

Show him this, tell him it’s the alternative 3rd kit.

Barca, Gossy High St… bookmarked.