Monkeys Fist

I mean there’s royalty, and then, there's Royalty RIP

I know you lads have been desperate to hear the thoughts of pug-faced Sweaty Sixties Singer Lulu on the change of monarchs. I apologise for my tardiness, but here it is. Rest easy, boys, rest easy.

Sooo… Mrs. F. has just got back from work, in The Dark Place, and tells me that around 3pm this afternoon about 7-8 masked men arrived at her work place, demanding she hand over some young lad. Police were called, didn’t show up. An hour later, some random kid was bundled in to the boot of an Audi which had been parked outside. ( She works Mondays at the “emergency hostel” for her organisation, which is a large Georgian townhouse converted in to flats, and staffed 24/7. It is for young people up to age 25). There was a recent case of a young lad in Sunderland who disappeared and was then found dead, mutilated, 6 weeks later. He’d been staying at this same place. It’s all drugs related, County Lines shit apparently. I can not wait for her to gtfo of that shithole and get work back over here.

Dammit.

Aye. Shouting wasn’t an offence last time I checked.

Depends how my chakras are.

They couldn’t get the building materials for a cathedral, on account of not being on the mainline railway, or major roads, or airport …

Sitters Disease.

HMLF.

Are talking about King Tampon or Prince Peggy here?

Other than having his hoop stretched by hookers?

Dont be daft man, that would cost him at least a gold carriage, and maybe a small part of Cornwall, poor bloke would have to cut back on his inkpot-removal skivvies.

I can give him some tips with that mind- 1- Stop taking public money, you obscenely wealthy twat. 2- Stop taking public money, you obscenely wealthy twat. 3- See 1&2.

Just had a look.

I have the greatest respect for you Sonatine, but Lord! You are no nearer being correct now than four minutes ago when I posted.

Come on then smartarse, here’s a random multi choice. Q. How many prostitutes per day are you allowed to kill? 1- Unlimited 2- Up to 10 3- Unlimited only if they are Eastern European 4- 10-20, as long as you are parked and it is safe to do so.

Which one? There’s a plethora of riches at the minute.

Just passed my HGV theory, hazard perception and Case Study tests in town. I’m a happy chap, as the online practice and revision site I was using was giving me fails on 9 out of 10 of my hazard attempts. Turns out they were using shitty, out of date clips and the actual test was a piece of piss. Since I got the Metro in, I’ve had a stroll along to the Free Trade for a spot of drunch

Nah, same shite just more sweaty.

I wouldn’t get your hopes up there, either.

Not sure about the new haircut Cath, but you suit the glasses.

Arf arf