Monkeys Fist

Mrs. F. let the mutt out for a piss last night before bed and came rushing back in all flustered saying “ Someone’s died!” As she was out in the garden a gurney came out of the house next door with a body on. It’s the wife of the old guy next door- she was seriously agoraphobic and since moving here in 2016 I’ve only seen her 4-5 times. Her husband is a lovely bloke, retired firefighter and I’ve always stopped to chat with him when I see him- I feel so sorry for him. I’ll give him a knock later, but I always feel utterly useless in situations like this- nowt I can say or do will bring his wife back.

Earlier on we had three accounts opened which spammed the ever-living shit out of the board. I’ve tidied it up and was just checking that it’s gone from view. However, if you’re in the market for some questionable GHB or LSD, all cut with rats piss and scouring powder, I know just the fellow

Sound, cheers 👍

Did you have it on your cornflakes?

Watch Durham Police fine Starmer and Rayner today

CT…

It’ll be a nice bingo card checking off the lines in that with the shite the Cabinet comes out with today.

@Kevin Carr's Gloves, have all the spam topics disappeared from your feed?

I’m hovering over the “spammer” button as the new member notifications come in

Pig shit thick…

Worked better than he probably dreamed of, tbh.

Oof! Right in the piss hole

Looks like Alex went in for the hug then got a blast of Beer, Cheese and Kebab Deathbreath. *just noticed the opposition

To answer your opening question- he’s all of one, plus the Biffen’s Bridge, and the Clacker Locker.

“ I was being pulled to pieces because people were saying I couldn’t take a warm, and was giving the players too much time off” Er… aye Steven, you weren’t doing your fucking job.

It’s Villa, they could win the Quadruple, unbeaten in every competition, and no one outside of a small section of Brum would give a flying fuck. Most beige club on the planet.

The entire fucking thing in eight words

I did not know PaddockLad lived on a Soap opera set Are you the grumpy old cunt with a heart of gold/stone character?

I’ve spent the PLATTY JOOBS planning and getting started on revamping my back garden. This will entail me demolishing and rebuilding a brick wall, putting a gate in said wall, making a raised area with railway sleepers, making a wooden frame for a gazebo type affair, laying some turf. Beer. #PLATTYJOOBS #BITEMEWYKIKI!

Same

Wee update on the SG that Gemmill gave my nipper- it needed some frets replaced so I told him that he needed to save up to get it repaired, the thinking being that, since it was free, he needed to do something to give it a value to him. The lad Gemmill recommended quoted about £50 and he’s got £45 saved-it’s his birthday next weekend so he’ll get to his target and then some. Grandma Fist has already paid for the repairs , so his £50 can go to a proper amp, which he also now wants. When he gets the fixed SG I’m telling him though, that he must learn Riff Raff as his first song on it.

I don’t know about anyone else but I can’t wait … … It’s going to look crazy on my LG TV with Dolby Atmos Soundbar.