Monkeys Fist

We believe you.

“ That’s uz buoycoutting the Mirror woman, chuck ‘em out” “ Arr, narr man Wor Exile, it’s the smoothest one of the lot- Jordan and Little Jordan’s arseholes are in tatters as it is ‘cos we can only eat cheesy chips now. We’re nearly veygans!”

“ Toucher in aisle 36!”

That’s no way to talk about Denise Squelch.

Nothing like a good shaft grip whilst executing a clean box stroke… … Giddup!

Poor Neighbours- 2:10a.m. ” What’s that creaking love, sounds like it’s coming from outside?” ” I’ll have a look… it’s him… aye him… he’s on that fucking sofa… oh god, no…please stab my eyes out”

What’s your favourite stroke?

Pants off is your only remaining option. Try not to sit on your bollocks

I’m genuinely worried the poor fuckers might be on the brink of a famine here. Ewerk, any tips for our six-fingered chums?

Err… no KFC either for the Classy Boys…

Fuck off, it’s too hot.

Glad we got that sorted.

Didn’t freak me out, I just always thought it was a proper cunt. Still do.

For reasons I still don’t know, I fucking hated that cat.

Iced tea is the absolute tits in this kind of heat.

Oof! I feel for you mate. Fucking nightmare

No good reason then

Why’s ASM got wanking bracelets on?

The new Rich Energy Racing colours are unveiled by the latest “team member”

Alcohol dehydrates you,

CT’s next “garden sofa”.

Met Office site is now saying we’ll hit 31° in Forest Hall tomorrow, so they’re updating all the time.

Grealish is thicker than a castle wall, isn’t he?