Monkeys Fist

You can understand the likes of Le Tissier and David Icke falling for this kind of fantasy bullshit, but Oliver is/was a historian. The most basic thing about being a historian is establishing the veracity of your sources. He’s absolutely murdered his career for a dip in the loony pool. Glorious

Is that the same Richard Keys that fucked his daughter’s best mate while his wife is was being treated for cancer?

Renton is your man for that- he knows his glass-like products.

Eee, never.

Why had Man Utd fans travelled so far north for their wake?

High-altitude object shot down over Alaska, US says https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-64605447 Says “the size of a small car”. Either China is flexing big time, or Musk’s Tesla has decided to come home.

Don’t forget Uncal Micky Grayuhsy. Legendary… …misser of pelanties.

Whoever could he mean?

I note you say nothing about the strangle wank.… DBS

Team Sausage rules!

I drove to Alston this morning up what I now refer to as the Dirt Road, and didn’t have to break out the shit-kit, so all is not yet lost. Yay!

As it happens I’ve just driven up Tinklers Bank near Riding Mill. I had to pull over as it seems I now have Pavlov’s bladder.

Two bottles of Aldi Prosecco and an Asda cooked chicken.

Hooters What about nice bit Thrush, or Black Birds, a cheeky Goose?

Two photoshops in one pic- you’re improving.

Is he one of them in the sperm suits?

Other than having Robson Green in it, aye

Welcome to Mrs. CT’s world.

Essembee’d MOP.

Barry Tewk

I’ve got a rural run today, so I put So Tough by St. Etienne on. When it was done I’ve got the “infinite play” button selected so it plays “similar” tracks and artists. Brought up a track by Everything But the Girl from Idlewild, one of their albums before they became all cool and remixey and that. It reminded me of two things; 1- Before their reinvention as hep cats, they were absolute cheesemongers. 2- They were, and this album in particular, the favourite band of a lass I went out with when I was 20-21. She was very pretty, an amazing singer, had terrible taste in music but was off-the-charts filth. Could suck a golf ball through a syringe, and swallow it. Indoors, outdoors, front doors, back doors, utter tramp. I even drew the line once when she wanted to try a reciprocal “Chuck Berry” Possibly my most bizarre “intimate experience” was getting a strangle-wank whilst this played in the background at her gaff … Anyway, only lasted 6months, because, as is often the case with the proper filthy ones, she was also batshit insane. I fucked off to France and she went on a World Tour … to Amsterdam.

Melanie Hill, ex-wife of lifelong Blades fan Sean Bean? That’s Sean added to the ranks of imaginary MLF’s then.