Monkeys Fist

I think he means Ian Wright, not Ian Wright.

Can’t say it’s ever put me off my stroke tbh.

Have they discovered the joys of “unboxing” videos? My lad had a minor obsession with them when he was younger- some fucking jellyhead yanks opening wrapped presents or bags of fucking toys. (I showed him how to skip to the end, which seemed to get him weaned off them ).

Homophobia- reported.

Peppa Pig tripping her tits off, tbh.

Looks nowt like a lion.

Paul De’Grady, more like.

Shite.

The Epic of Gilgamess

Like bulldogs lugs now

“Forget Me Knot… Balloon Knot!”

You just transcribed one of his videos, you big cheater!

Those three Morlocks staring at the bloke with a job.

Why have you photoshopped the shitters out?

Wasn’t there lots of “good guys with guns” at Uvalde who were too scared, so just the kids be slaughtered?

Dear ChatMLF Please produce a video documenting one man’s descent in to madness as a result of being a sunderland football fan and his mam being his sisterwife. Thinking…

An Italian rabbit called Pierro hops in to the same bar and asks the barman for a cheese and onion toastie and a ham toastie. He eats them, leaving a terrible mess, and leaves. Next day, same thing, “ A cheese and onion toastie, and a ham toastie per favore” Eats, leaves an awful mess, buggers off. This goes on for days, until finally the barman has had enough, and this time gives him a cheese toastie, and a ham and onion toastie. Pierro hobbles in the next day, eyes swollen, terribly ill, and collapses in front of the bar. The horrified barman asks him what happened and, with last breath, Pierro raises his head and says “ You- you mix a ma toasties!”

A termite walks in to the same bar and says, ” Is the bar tender here?”

Fucking hell, that’s horrific.

I’m having this framed *wipes single tear from eye

I keep coming back to this line

Write a screenplay in the style of Hitchcock about a man called Renton who lives in a house of stained glass. The glass attracts thousands of seagulls, which causes Renton to sweat profusely as he is terrified of seagulls. It doesn’t end happily

Write a story about a Yorkshireman called Wykiki who hates everyone he’s ever worked with. He’s invited to a reunion of all his former workmates, gets exceedingly drunk, then faints just before it’s his turn to buy the beers. Write the whole thing in Yorkshire dialect