Monkeys Fist

Did you stay in a hotel or Airb&b mate? I’m leaning towards a hotel because, well, fuck doing my own dishes and that, but a nice AB&B has advantages too.

Someone didn’t Hawk Tuah Dougle last night

On the corner of the canal, looking at this, mostly. There’s a nice little cafe there so you can have a “wee swally “ between bombing runs

We accept your resignation, then, cheers. We’ll give you a week’s notice from now before the Ban Hammer strikes

Banged flat and covered in barnacles?

Just watch Adam Pearson.

I thought she lived next door to the Wolf of Bong Street?

Aye, I’m prepared to be cattle-herded around the Coliseum, but am I fuck standing 6 deep watching some tart pose for The Gram* in front of a fucking fountain I quite fancy seeing the Catacombs, there seems to be quite a few different ones so I’ll look in to that. I’ve heard from several folk that Roman pizza is a bit shite, Fist Jnr will be devastated * when we were in Brüges , we made it a little game to see how many Instatwats we could photobomb just as they were about to click the shutter- you’d think their duck lips couldn’t get any poutier, but after the third time of me wandering in to frame whilst adjusting the Jewels, believe me, they can

Posh mackemed YP

Mrs. F. wants 4-5 days in Rome , looking at mid-September- ( to avoid the Viking flavoured daughter frying). I’m guessing that 5 days will be ample time to see the sights at a leisurely pace, and that, since it’s the Capital, it won’t be shut Must see’s for me are the Coliseum, The Forum, a day getting “lost” and finding a god-level trattoria, a market, and some bang-tidy Roman flange deposits in the Wank Bank ( I have some wraparound shades which are cracking perv goggles). Mrs. F. wants to go to the Vatican… I’m distinctly in the “meh” camp on that one, but I’ll probably end up going. Any tips, must-sees I’ve not mentioned, must-avoids, or scran recommendations?

I know someone who’s likely selling an “outdoor sofa”. Needs the cash as he’s spunked his savings on bitchcoins.

“ Only way to git over one is to git under another !” Seems like a proper sort.

Isn’t it? I didn’t know until recently that it’s built around a drum sample from The Meters’ recording of “Oh Calcutta” Aye, fucked if I can tell either edit; it’s pretty obviously at around 2:40.

Fucks The Minors. ( but only if they’re related).

Climbs a ladder, takes down its knickers, and shits on Swifty and Buy Once from a great height.

You’d think they’d get on like a house on fire then.

I’m just sat here wondering why Meghan won’t ring her dad? WHY MEGHAN?????

Reygis Luh Breeyuz? Been an MLF since boyhood, marra. ( On the wiki page for his hometown, pop. 8,500+- , there’s 4 “personalities” listed.… … have a guess who isn’t ).

No one’s going to buy it anyway- the first 300 pages are given over to dedications to his kids.

I take it they didn’t have shin gunts, like the pic you posted earlier. ( I don’t actually believe any of this nonsense, tbh- how would you have been able to see anyone when, given your vehicular history, you’d have been tied on the back of it.)

Real, poor Kunt. In a surprising twist, she has announced her engagement to recently divorced, pizza-face DJ Simon Mayo. “ I’m so pleased I won’t have to hear any more jokes about my name”

Given the early kick-off, shit performance, obvious intake of teatime pints on your behalf, is it too much to ask that you actually get one of these “ American hotties” on a pervsnap? Disable the shutter sound, pretend you’re trying to take a panorama if Mrs.ewerk is hovering, whatever. I’m beginning to suspect that you’re actually at a swingers resort and it’s over-40s week.

Lucky bastard. And I only saw the 2nd half.