Monkeys Fist

@Dr Gloom, so sorry to hear about your mate’s tragic loss, man. What a horrible situation you find yourself in too- all you can do is be there for your mate when he needs you, but don’t forget about yourself. I imagine you’re also grieving the loss of the little girl, and it’s important you allow yourself time to do so. Other than that, not much more I can add to what the lads have already said.

If everyone just pretends it’s one of their own, problem solved with a bonus boost to civic pride.

Careful with your mincer ankles.

Rape Rape Buttery Biscuit Rape. Dorty bassa-never liked him.

Falconry images ✅

Watched the Lucan documentary mentioned a few pages back. Firstly, poor bastard- adopted to then find out your bio mam was murdered by Lucan. No wonder the bloke is a bit messed up. The end left me more than a little frustrated. The argument that Neil put forward for it being Lucan was just as valid as the argument against, I thought, but, presumably since the old fella hasn’t been nicked, there’s more compelling proof to keep him at liberty. Surely DNA would settle the issue?

What a horrible situation PL. Is putting him in a no-kill rescue centre an option or not? Either way, you’re losing the little fella which is going to be rough.

*sighs.

Niiiiice. Is it white, aye?

Ffs

Offside, ffs

You been going through his bins?

This is how The Queen used to ask for grapes… … as you were lads

Who?

They’re big Spaniels with a hipster tache More likely to tell you about the latest craft beer then trip over it’s own arse* *based purely on my spaniel, who is thicker than Therese Coffeys ankles.

Aye, the mouse was gutted to get a smaller one…

They’ll be introducing Reygis Le Briys to the Magic Roundabout soon then… Including caretakers, 33 managers since Monkeys Heed. 21 without counting caretakers.

I know nowt about her, but given his history of rape and unprovoked violence, she could well be on the receiving end of it herself. It’s incredibly common for domestic violence victims to feel unable to leave. Not saying she is a victim, but it wouldn’t be shock if it turned out she was.

Takes me 10 minutes to drive to work. Tonight, on the way, three separate times, had to swerve to avoid daft cunts, dressed head to foot in black, on bikes, no lights. All on unlit sections of road, but that had a path they could’ve ridden on. I’m beginning to think Darwin might have been wrong. Also just realised, none of them even had a rear reflector- isn’t that standard on a bike? You’d have to purposely remove it. Cuuuuuuuuunts ✅

In a rare moment of kinship with our Medieval Marra’s down the road, I’m going to have to ask you to explain The Wheel to me?

Took me a while to realise the Aldi checkout lass in the clip was Lauren Laverne.

Both him Phil Jupitus share the attributes of being comedians that aren’t remotely funny, and a belief that the can “do” a Geordie accent.