Monkeys Fist

Make a shed in the front garden out of all the pallets, to ‘bang old mugs’ in. The neighbours will love it your Mrs. will too.

If the beer-swilling cunt can point to the Chagos Islands on a map without looking it up first I’ll eat my bleeding heart. Someone needs to take this whopper out flying again, do the job properly this time.

Imagine Batty’s old teacher knowing Peter Withe. What are the chances?

AOC will be in her absolute prime in 4yrs. They need to start positioning her as de facto Dem leader asap.

As Wykiki was recovering and a nurse asked if he’d like some toast. W- “ ‘appen a would, aye.” N- “ Hiw do you like it?” W- “ Wi’ jamon. “

Whilst I fully agree with what you’re saying above, I think ‘Murica is way beyond that stage of play.

Also, Trump will pardon annyone and everyone who pays him anyway, regardless of Biden.

Tales From The Truck : Volume IX. One of the things they don’t teach you when you take your test is how to deal with the boredom once you’ve done the same route a few times. I’m sure you’ll all join me in congratulating myself on winning a Gold Medal at the Fart Olympics. The winning move was a Triple-Split Trump Triumvirate. One fart, which, on its route to freedom, splits in to three, one each going either side of your nut sack, one going direct up the middle of the bag. Done three consecutive times. I’m absolutely delighted. I even topped it off with a Quad-split, which is as above but with an extra gufflet heading up the back groove. Outstanding. Sadly, since I’ve just dropped the kids off at the pool, the tank is empty and no more Arse Athletics are likely for the remainder of my run. The hours just fly by.

Not a doctor or owt, but sounds like he might have suffered a stroke? https://amp.theguardian.com/football/2024/dec/01/fiorentina-edoardo-bove-taken-to-hospital-after-collapsing-on-pitch-internazionale

I reckon the council could’ve saved a fortune on the demolition of that tower block in Walker this weekend. Just give HMHM a curry and a night on the piss and he’d have it flattened next morning.

They dead, like?

If you say the average player costs a PL side £40mil these days, you’re getting about 12 players for your £500mil. Not really a squad overhaul when you include “prospects” too.

You seen the team sheet like, Breadstick?

That’s no way to talk about Gemmill- he made a valid point, and it’s not just him who thinks you are predominantly a WUM. In fact, let’s have a little straw poll. IS LTA A WUM? Hit like for YEH FAM! Hit jaysus for NAH BLUD. Or don’t, no one really cares, petal

Forgive me for questioning your clit, but how the fuck do you come to this conclusion? Howe says which players he’d like. That’s pretty much it, from him. I very much doubt he had much involvement in the actual negotiations between clubs over the price, so I fail to see how he’s responsible? Most of the problems we seem to be having on the field can be laid at the door of the club not being willing/able to replace the Ashley era players with quality. Yes, I’m frustrated at times when he seems reluctant to change players during a match, but we don’t really have a squad of equals as far as bench players are concerned. Again, not his fault. Sacking Howe now or at the end of the season would solve the square root of fuck-all. You’d be looking for his replacement, most of the coaching and technical team he brought in, you’d likely piss-off many of the players, and, transfer-wise, it’d be a leap backwards, since whoever you got to replace him would want rid of certain players that would otherwise not be on the transfer market. You’d also raise a considerable stink amongst fans, the actual ones who live locally and go to games. For every gobshite on Reddit, X , and The other place, there’s 2-3 who don’t bother with online yappery who are happy with Howe and wouldn’t want to see him go. ( I’m assuming you’ll see this, since you’ve clearly “unblocked” me judging by your strop above ).

Just wait until “she” wakes up and puts “jaysus” reactions on every post that basically says fuck off. LTA- My teenage girl persona isn’t getting the attention I’d/she’d like, I’ll post a ridiculous Eddie Out thread and get some clicks. *comes back to thread later… I’M SOO BUTT HURT! WHY DOES NO ONE TAKE ME SEEEEERIOUSLY????? Tragic

Don’t feed the pig lads.

Online or did you get it in Town?

Not quite as bad as joining the Mud Ckub, but I’ve only just, today, this fucking morning in fact, discovered that there is a second pair of blackout curtains in my truck, that drop down alongside my bed. Ffs… No more hanging towels to try to block out light.

It’ll end up as another “Destination “ bar full of wankers, I expect.

There’s nowt else to do in Berwick, other than shit your pants.

This clip seems appropriate … ( It’s the end of The French Connection).

Worth it for his lass’s chebs.

@Dr Gloom, so sorry to hear about your mate’s tragic loss, man. What a horrible situation you find yourself in too- all you can do is be there for your mate when he needs you, but don’t forget about yourself. I imagine you’re also grieving the loss of the little girl, and it’s important you allow yourself time to do so. Other than that, not much more I can add to what the lads have already said.