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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. There was a similar club in Keswick in the late 80s, the name of which escapes me now. Weird place, it had a four sided bar island that took up most of the main floor, with a tiny dance floor to the side- 10 people on it and it was getting intimate. A bunch of us from the place I was working went in one night with the express intention of seeing how fast we could all get thrown out- one lad stuck a bottle down his pants so everyone he approached thought he was sporting a magnum dong erection, I approached every lass at the bar, said hi, took a drink, then went in to my best lines whilst dribbling said drink down my chin, I can’t recall the other methods - one lad came up with one of the best comebacks I’ve heard Approached the chief scrubber sitting with her gang of scrubettes, asked her for a dance. “ No, I’m fussy who I dance with”, said Chief Scrubber. My boy came straight back with, ” Shame, as you can see, I’m not…” Poor lasses face dropped as far as her tits probably have by now. We were all “helped””back outside within about 15 minutes. There was one in Hexham too, but it was basically fight club for the local goons.
  2. Ah… so he’s making sure no one mistakes him for a local woman.
  3. Just have Trump eliminated as a clear and present threat to the US. Official business- no worries, no crime* * sung to the tune of Berb Marley.
  4. Why’s he shaving his lip?
  5. The lad on the right doing a John Redwood “ Whit thae fuck they sayin’ ?l
  6. Aye, “mouth” wasn’t the first thing I thought when I saw that. ( admittedly, him being such a cunt may have skewed it)
  7. I just said Ibrahim, you added the weirdo.
  8. No one cares, Ibrahim keep it to PMs .…
  9. I went to one in Jedburgh when I was 18 and living in Kielder. The Kielder lads I went with said words to the effect of “ If you can’t get your dick wet at The Riding, you might as well cut it off” Knees were successfully trembled.
  10. Nice to have another Sweaty on board. Now…
  11. The prestigious HQ of Rich Energy looks about right…
  12. Decent post for a traumatised lesbian.…
  13. Lost Prophets- here’s one for the kids.
  14. The whole bit about the Observable Universe is mental tbh- even if we could travel at light speed, by the time we reached where the edge of the OU was when we set off, it will have moved further away because the Universe is still expanding. Basically, we’d never be able to get to the edge, which , I think, makes the Universe infinite, as we’ll never get to the end of it. Again…
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