Monkeys Fist

Renton is your man for that- he knows his glass-like products.

Eee, never.

Why had Man Utd fans travelled so far north for their wake?

High-altitude object shot down over Alaska, US says https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-64605447 Says “the size of a small car”. Either China is flexing big time, or Musk’s Tesla has decided to come home.

Don’t forget Uncal Micky Grayuhsy. Legendary… …misser of pelanties.

Whoever could he mean?

I note you say nothing about the strangle wank.… DBS

Team Sausage rules!

I drove to Alston this morning up what I now refer to as the Dirt Road, and didn’t have to break out the shit-kit, so all is not yet lost. Yay!

As it happens I’ve just driven up Tinklers Bank near Riding Mill. I had to pull over as it seems I now have Pavlov’s bladder.

Two bottles of Aldi Prosecco and an Asda cooked chicken.

Hooters What about nice bit Thrush, or Black Birds, a cheeky Goose?

Two photoshops in one pic- you’re improving.

Is he one of them in the sperm suits?

Other than having Robson Green in it, aye

Welcome to Mrs. CT’s world.

Essembee’d MOP.

Barry Tewk

I’ve got a rural run today, so I put So Tough by St. Etienne on. When it was done I’ve got the “infinite play” button selected so it plays “similar” tracks and artists. Brought up a track by Everything But the Girl from Idlewild, one of their albums before they became all cool and remixey and that. It reminded me of two things; 1- Before their reinvention as hep cats, they were absolute cheesemongers. 2- They were, and this album in particular, the favourite band of a lass I went out with when I was 20-21. She was very pretty, an amazing singer, had terrible taste in music but was off-the-charts filth. Could suck a golf ball through a syringe, and swallow it. Indoors, outdoors, front doors, back doors, utter tramp. I even drew the line once when she wanted to try a reciprocal “Chuck Berry” Possibly my most bizarre “intimate experience” was getting a strangle-wank whilst this played in the background at her gaff … Anyway, only lasted 6months, because, as is often the case with the proper filthy ones, she was also batshit insane. I fucked off to France and she went on a World Tour … to Amsterdam.

Melanie Hill, ex-wife of lifelong Blades fan Sean Bean? That’s Sean added to the ranks of imaginary MLF’s then.

I also forgot to call his grandfathers convicts. My apologies mate, I’ll do better next time

Do you have a cheeky cerry at the Rupali, though?